Hello and welcome,in this column this morning lets discuss the most frequently heard expressions on news TV of which,of course,hello and welcome are the two most frequent. Hello and welcome are alright. Not in the least conservative by instinct,I am inclined towards conservatism on hello and welcome. There are enough surprises on news TV. Just as well therefore we have the near certainty that all news TV shows will begin the same way.
What follows is not an exhaustive list,it cant be,but I hope to convey,after this short break,the spirit of some of the words and phrases that have come to define our national news TV character.
Clearly: An incredibly useful expression during anchor-reporter exchanges. It can make an exchange longer and therefore lend it an appearance of journalistic acuity. Reporter to anchor: The government is divided over x (x being a controversial issue). End of that particular point,right? No. Because then you have,anchor to reporter: Clearly,the government is in two minds over x. Similarly,reporter to anchor: the government hasnt decided as yet on y (y being another controversial issue),and anchor to reporter: Clearly,we will have to wait for a decision on y.
Right: When uttered repeatedly and rapidly by the anchor,right is the blunt weapon intended to stop a panellist,sometimes mid-word,and clear the way for the anchor to get back in the game. A panellist is saying I think there should be a national consensus on z (z being yet another controversial issue) and India cannot affo right,right,right,right,the anchor says. If done right,the right,right,right,right intervention will ensure that what the anchor says will bear no relationship with what the panellist was trying to say. Uttered once by the anchor,right sometimes follows a news TV rarity: a lull,two seconds of silence,no ones saying anything. Right,the anchor says,because on news TV someone has to say something always.
What are you hearing: I feel terrified for TV reporters when I hear anchors ask reporters what are you hearing. Frequently,this question comes when the reporter is in no position to hear anything of news value,having only arrived at a news hotspot. The anchor says theres been a blast in city A,cut to the reporter who sums up the news,cut to the anchor who says whos responsible,what are you hearing,cut to the reporter who sums up the news in a different way. What else can the reporter do? Certainly,the reporter cant tell the anchor,all I am hearing is you asking me what I am hearing. A deadlier version of this is the anchor asking the reporter,what are you hearing from your sources.
Allow me to finish/ allow me to complete my sentence,and other variations: Almost always a desperate plea by panellists. No further comment on this is necessary except that sometimes,in multi-panellist discussions,two panellists talking simultaneously,simultaneously make the plea to each other and/or to the anchor. Who will allow whom to finish? Many times I keep watching a news show just to get an answer to this question. Sometimes,no one allows anyone to finish.
Allow me to finish now,we will come back to this topic again. I can hear you interrupting,what about how do you feel,you are asking,am I going to ignore this frequently heard news TV expression? I am not ignoring it. Just that I feel how do you feel is beyond discussion. Its consecrated now. Haloed.
How would I or you feel,if news TV stops asking how do you feel? Wont we feel strange? Absolutely. Clearly,we will feel theres something not normal. So,I dont think I have anything more to say on this. Right.
saubhik.chakrabarti@expressindia.com
