Zzz it is

Cast: Himesh Reshamiya, Urmila Matondkar, Shweta Kumar

Rating:

Running at: Inox Forum, City Centre, Swabhumi

Circa 1980: Monty Rishi Kapoor is in the middle of a sprawling, psychedelic stage, surrounded by screaming, adoring fans when a series of disorienting visions overwhelm him 8212; a guitar, an old temple and a mysterious woman in a floppy hat. The audience8217;s curiosity is stoked. A foundation to one of Bollywood8217;s most potent thriller laid 8212;Karz.

Circa 2008: Monty is Himesh Reshamiya, need we say more? His newly transplanted mop is such a distraction that even the background dancers seem to be transfixed, or maybe it8217;s the hallucinatory effect of the nasal twang. The flashes of memory that disturb him, come in the form of a hideously wigged Urmila Matondkar making weird faces in a cockpit. Stuff nightmares are made of. So the 2008 Monty collapses. Can we really blame him?

Karz, sorry Karzzz, is a film which is as irresponsible and juvenile as its title. It8217;s as if Satish Kaushik woke up one fine day and decided to remake one of Bollywood8217;s most accomplished films, without bothering to invest any thought in adapting it according to its times. His only contribution seems to be the extra 8216;z8217;s in the title. Honestly, how can you expect to be taken seriously when your idea of innovation is adorning your film8217;s title with zzz? And you should know you are heading for disaster when the high-points of your enterprise are carefully curated samplings of Urmila Matondkar8217;s cleavage, and an arrhythmic Danny Denzongpa cameo. Things which momentarily divert the doomed ship from collision with the iceberg.

Let8217;s not even get to the plot. It suffices to say that the ridiculously paced thriller, peppered with insipid Himesh numbers makes you realize that having your skin flayed by a potato peeler is probably a less painful exercise. Actually flay my skin with a potato peeler any day but please don8217;t impose Reshamiya8217;s jatra histrionics on me. Minutes dissolve to hours as he tries to register a change of emotion on his face. And to add to his woes, he seems to have been supplied with the most inefficient prompter in the world for one can almost see a prompter holding up placards saying 8220;LAUGH8221;, 8220;CRY8221; or 8220;FROWN8221; behind the camera, who doesn8217;t give him the right cues at the right time. The result8212; Reshamiya reacts a minute or so late to every situation.

At the opposite end of the histrionics spectrum is Urmila Matondkar,whose famed ability to register five million emotions a second in her face seems to grow exponentially. In Karzzz her face is a bigger distraction than Rehamiya8217;s newly-transplanted mop 8212; a buzzing, throbbing entity which will haunt you for days after you walk out of the theatre.

Debutante Shweta Kumar8217;s acting abilities fall in the middle of the spectrum . She chooses one set expression8212; a grin, and remains loyal to it for the entire length of the film.

All said and done, this may very well prove to be an encore hit for Reshamiya. His loyal followers will probably clap up a storm in theatres across the country as he belts out one torturous number after another.Strange are the ways of the world. Or as Monty would have said 8220;kudrat ka karishma dekhiye8230;8221;

PS Don8217;t miss Rohini Hattangandi in her corny best. Mere bete, mere laal tu aa gaya8230; too much I say.