Waiting to exhale

Change is the only constant and Bobby is forever on a learning curve — he has even cropped his hair because he got bored of the old style. And as an actor he has evolved into a mature performer. "I am growing each day, understanding more," he says. One of the lessons he has learnt is that acting remains incomplete without passion. Not just the actor, but the entire team has to be charged and has to believe in what they are doing. "I will never do a project with those who make a film just to be seen making a film," he adds.

Not surprisingly, his favourite director is Vinod Chopra. "He lives in his own world of passion. The atmosphere he creates is unique." But Chopra also has the dubious honour of being high handed and abusive at times. "Whatever he is, it is justified. Everybody gets hyper at times..," defends Bobby.

And being a star child helps to get you only that first break — nothing more, nothing less. "After that, it is all up to you whether you make it or break it," says Bobby. It does not bother him that he is invariably compared with brother Sunny Deol and father Dharmendra. "I know I am different and that is enough for me."

And though he may swear by change, Bobby career graph has remained constant — at the bottom. His debut movie, the mega-hyped Barsaat with Twinkle Khanna, was released with a bang but vamooshed without even a whimper. Bobby asserts that the film did well, but since it was sold at a high price, the success did not register. "I am here today because of Barsaat," he adds, though concedes that the movie "could have done better". The problem with Barsaat was that everyone tried too hard and too long to make it perfect, including Bobby himself. "That was my first movie and I wanted to impress my family. But the pressure was too much," he says.

Next on the line was Gupt, an inane movie revolving around a locket and an oversmart kid. "It was my story but not through me. One of those movies…" And on Gupt’s heels came Aur Pyaar Ho Gaya, with Aishwarya Rai as the female lead. Great were the expectations and greater was the shock when the movie bombed. The sad story unfolded because Aur Pyaar… was originally meant to be an action film, but was mutated into a romantic one when Ash came in! "And it ended up being neither. In the confusion, the movie lost its soul," adds Bobby.

But mum is the word on the forthcoming inhouse project, called London. "I want to maintain the suspense and the curiosity… and it is called London because the story is based in London!" he says.

Bobby’s ideal movie would be one in which he has a "realistic and serious role". Love stories are way down on his list. He finds it amusing that the leading pair has to do a song and dance gig every half and hour. "Why the hell! I can’t sing, so why should I be made to? But you have to do justice to your work," says Bobby. He particularly dislike the Michael Jackson kind of gyrations and "vigorous dancing" that actors have to do. Bobby terms them as "market pressures" and part of the game. "Even Satya required songs in it. People don’t want to face reality."

And while playing by the filmi rules is okay with him, Bobby chucks all conventions and mores once he is off the sets. "I don’t live according to society. I do what I want, and am just the way I am." He desires simplicity and honesty. "Though honesty doesn’t always pay. You invariably end up hurting someone," he muses. But Bobby would rather hurt people than delude them. "I am a lousy diplomat," he reveals.

But rumours abound that he is a highly successful Casanova. Bobby calls that a media creation. "Wish I was a Casanova. I party a lot and everytime I held a girl’s hand, it triggered off fresh rumours." Now that he is married to Tanya, Bobby has apparently mellowed down. "Previously I lived for the day, but now I am more serious. I am still a child at heart, but work has become more important."

Bobby misses the simple pleasures of going to theatres or for cricket matches. The last time he went for a movie, he was mobbed and had to leave halfway through. His experience with cricket which he is passionate about was even worse. Bobby went for a Sri Lanka vs India match. "I still regret going. Sourav got out on the first ball and Tendulkar followed suit. I just couldn’t take it anymore, and walked out."

When Bobby is down and out, his relaxes by sliding deep into a chair, staring emptily at the ceiling while skipping channels on the TV. His fervent desire is to be happy forever. Happiness is not a goal that has to be chased, it is something within. "People will always bitch. But if you are not affected by it, you can be happy anytime, anywhere, anyhow."