Verbal kinetics

Trust the Brits not to call a spade a spade. Speaking in the House of Commons in 1906, Winston Churchill preferred to use the expression 8216;terminological inexactitude8217; to 8216;exaggeration8217;. A century on 8212; on March 9, 2007 to be precise 8212; Jack Straw, leader of the House, trying no doubt to be politically correct on the day after Women8217;s Day, ruled that 8216;chairman8217; would be replaced by 8216;chair8217;. Straw was dismissed as a man of straw by former minister, Anne Widdecombe, who asserted that she was not a 8216;chair8217; because no one had ever sat upon her.

The search for the circuitous phrase is not new. The British preferred to say 8216;cloakroom8217; or 8216;WC8217; when they meant 8216;lavatory8217;: today the favourite phrase is 8216;loo8217;. When Agatha Christie8217;s Ten Little Niggers was being staged in Birmingham, many objected to the title: the resourceful theatre management promptly changed it to Ten Little Indians. Somerset Maugham has related that when the manuscript of his novel, Liza of Lambeth, was to be published, he was asked to change the word 8216;belly8217; to 8216;stomach8217;, which was thought to be more genteel. In post-war Britain, the goal of inter-racial relations was first 8216;integration8217;. Later, it was dubbed 8216;racial harmony8217;. Now the word is 8216;multiculturalism8217;. No matter what they call it, recent events have shown the whole exercise to be futile.

Not so long ago, Punjab separatists objected to being called 8216;terrorists8217;, and wanted to be termed 8216;militants8217;: what is known as 8216;a section of the press8217;, duly complied. You have only to look at the matrimonial ads in newspapers to find the word 8216;wheatish8217; staring you in the face. People fight shy of describing themselves as 8216;brown8217; 8216;brownish8217;?. Of course, 8216;wheatish8217; may eventually be admitted to the English dictionary, like 8216;prepone8217;, another Indianism.

The thesaurus of euphemisms now includes 8216;differently-abled8217; for 8216;disabled8217;, and 8216;commercial sex workers 8216;prostitutes8217;. Celebrities now have 8216;love-children8217; not 8216;illegitimate children8217;. Former US president, Bill Clinton, when charged with indulging in a sexual escapade with a White House intern, confessed to having an 8216;inappropriate relationship8217;.

The high cost of dying is now reflected in the death of the word 8216;undertaker8217;. It has been replaced by 8216;mortician8217; and 8216;funeral director8217;. All of which shows that language is a living thing 8212; and that8217;s what makes it such fun.