Top Gun

Chief Super Hornet test pilot Ricardo Traven was quick to assure me that I was 8216;8216;flying8217;8217; a machine that8217;s used by US Navy pilots at the training academy in Kingsville, Texas, so I could peacefully sever any misconceptions that this was a featherweight deal. And since I8217;ve been a faithful player of flight simulator computer games all my life, let8217;s just say Mr Instructor didn8217;t have to tell me, for example, where the engine reheat throttle or enemy target toggle switch was.

Once in the air, I guided my Super Hornet with a 30deg; bank a turn to the left or right towards a small town, a sinister tingle playing on my already sweaty palms. But before that I had to show

Mr Test Pilot a thing or two. I pulled the flight joystick all the way back, pitching the fighter up for a loop. Now that comes easy. But while I was still virtually upside down on the last arc of my perfect circle, I slowed up and executed a full yaw turn, flattening out and pointing in an entirely different direction. You8217;ve got to see it to know how it8217;s done. And to be fair, I have to admit that I learnt that astonishingly beautiful move from our Indian pilots.

8216;8216;Enough fun and games,8217;8217; I muttered, as I shot a quick glance at my visibly pleased instructor, and re-engaged my afterburners to blast off again towards the desert hamlet. Switching deftly into strike mode, I rapidly plucked a shopping mall and warehouse off the face of the earth with two seriously slick laser-guided bombs joint direct attack munitions, but never mind. Of course, the town scrambled some support, so there I was, being chased down by a pair of renegade defender fighters. I missed one like a rat, but smashed the other out of the sky from blisteringly close range with an AIM-9 Sidewinder. You know the life-passes-before-your-eyes routine.

8216;8216;You8217;ve got it goin8217; on,8217;8217; my instructor said. But this was getting out of hand. I8217;m a peacenik, I wanted to yell out! But I was laughing too hard. After about 20 more minutes of half-crazed barrel rolls, reverse loops and super-slow flight, I switched scenarios on the 3D screen to China Lake, where a nuclear-powered aircraft carrier was waiting for me. Shooting towards it, I reduced throttle but only just, put down my flaps and landing gear and sailed on to the flight deck for a somewhat awkward arrested landing. That was just fine8212;I saw the person before me plow into the ship8217;s hull. Poor rookie.

I put the brakes on and killed the throttle, allowing the still active radar to wash over my hapless shipmates. Stretching with the satisfaction of a sleepy canine, I emerged from my cockpit looking not particularly impressed. I mean, what would these Boeing guys think! On the inside, I was just waiting for the nexts-in-line to finish their boring low-thrust missions before I could strap back in. There was a niggling feeling that the one enemy fighter I let get away was already planning a counter-snipe. And that just wouldn8217;t do. Someone8217;s got to finish the job.