Tooth fairy

A front tooth of the upper kind, for which Bugs Bunny is well known, had been giving trouble. The dentist successfully treated an infection,...

A front tooth of the upper kind, for which Bugs Bunny is well known, had been giving trouble. The dentist successfully treated an infection, but soon the gum became infected again. She said that this infection-cure-infection cycle would probably continue while there was space for food particles to lodge themselves; and that eventually the tooth would have to go. 8220;Let it go, then,8221; I declaimed.

I discovered that the world8217;s tusk pullers have their methods. A surface anaesthetic was sprayed and a small syringe filled. The second anaesthetic was injected and I was not even given the chance to moan. I mean, what is the point of being an Indian involved in such a proceeding if one cannot do that? The desired numbness having been achieved, the dentist approached with a lethal instrument. So I imagine, because said weapon was inches from my face and I didn8217;t have my glasses on.

Had I seen it I should probably have shattered the windows with my screams. There was a crushing sound, as of an elephant stepping on an eggshell, and a sudden sharp pain. 8220;The torture begins,8221; I thought. The dentist went back to her desk. I sat in terror, expecting another attack soon. Curiosity got the better of me when nothing happened. I mimed pulling something out of my mouth. The dentist nodded. Finally, I understood that the torture was over.

I have begun to appreciate the utility of incisors. That which had been pulled was the one under which I gripped my bidi when I needed my hands for other work. I shall probably take a long while to learn to stick my bidi under its twin. Sandwiches and samosas and some kababs will pose a problem. Mercifully, corn cobs were given up long back. My speech is now accompanied by an unfamiliar hissing, which has caused friends to insist over the phone that I am someone else. Being reminded of a teacher from 40 years back, I live in dread of spraying spittle on those to whom I speak.

There are, however, two reasons for cheer. The first is that, like many other readers of Mad magazine, I am a life-long admirer of the wit and wisdom of Alfred E. Neumann. In attaining a dental resemblance to my hero, I am like those who would imitate the posture of Napoleon Bonaparte or would grow beards like Abraham Lincoln8217;s. I too believe that imitation confers greatness on the imitator.

The second reason has to do with a lady friend. I am sometimes visited by a female classmate together with whom I once struggled to earn a master8217;s. She comes to get away from pressures which she finds too great. I place a glass of beer next to her chair and leave her strictly alone. My lady friend comes with her. We repair to my room, where we play games and say silly things to each other. When she noticed the absence of a tooth, she nodded with approval, 8220;Now your smile is almost as pretty as mine.8221; She is my classmate8217;s granddaughter and boasts three missing teeth. In time I hope to catch up.