I am like a teenage girl when it comes to the telephone. I am completely hooked on it. So much so that my wife often complains the only way to talk to me is on the phone. I think there is some justification for the complaint. Actually, I prefer talking to people on the phone rather than meeting them. It is much more convenient, much less intrusive and gives one much more autonomy in the sense that each side has the right to terminate the conversation at any time for reasons good, bad or indifferent.It is for this reason that when Rajiv Masand on CNN-IBN asked the lovely Tabu as to who her three o’clock at night friends were — meaning the ones who she could call up at that hour — I was really disappointed by her answer. She said, modestly, that I have no three o’clock at night friends. I told myself how sad. I know of several people (myself included) who would give an arm and a leg to be Tabu’s three o’clock at night friend. Actually I may not be too far off the mark in saying that half of Bombay wouldn’t mind being Tabu’s three o’clock at night friend — and damn the sleep.What is particularly ironic is that I have three o’clock at night friends myself. Except that they are in America. Mainly my brother and sister, who are more than happy to talk to me at three o’clock at night (my time), which is three o’clock in the afternoon, their time.Haruki Murakami’s wonderful book, Sputnik Sweetheart, begins with a call to a three o’clock at night friend. Actually it’s a five o’clock at night call. And the friend who picks up the phone is irritated but not surprised which, I think, is just the right reaction for a three o’clock at night friend. Of course what happens thereafter is completely surreal and wonderful!What the telephone actually does is that it makes the world your oyster. There is no place in the world that, potentially, you can’t call, and nobody in the world who is really safe from your call. Angelina Jolie, are you there? Something which has been exacerbated both by the mobile phone and by rapidly falling tariffs.So go on. Test your friendships by calling up all your friends at three o’clock at night. You’ll at least know who your real friends are. If you have any left.
