Slipping on rejections

If you are lucky you would hear back from Ed before Halley8217;s Comet appears next. I once received a rude scrawl from a Chicago newspaper opinion column in response to a thought-provoking piece on the Alaskan pipeline. 8220;No! 8211; Ed8221; is all it screamed. 8220;Prosaic with irrelevant allegories; doesn8217;t go with our magazine8217;s image,8221; responded another. Editors incapable of outright rejection slyly refer you to next year8217;s editorial calendar in the hope that you get the hint and stop bothering them.

With the advent of the computer, rejections have become more impersonal. I have often been deceived by a prompt message thanking me for my contribution 8212; until I figured that this was just an automated response. Recently, frustrated with a lifeless e-mail rejection from a local newspaper, I replied: 8220;Owing to the sheer volume of literary correspondence received, I am unable to respond to each message individually. However, if your e-mail merits attention, I shall respond within 90 business days.