Sare jahaan se

Or that is what the wise men of the Congress will tell you if you ask them, why can8217;t they get their Muslim vote back despite leading a coalition run on a document even more stunningly 8220;secular8221; than our Constitution, the Holy National CMP? It is because of this government8217;s deepening engagement with Bush, and because it signed the nuclear deal.

So if, on the one hand, the Congress thinks the Muslims hate it because its prime minister loves the Americans, and the Marxists, who hate both, think their Muslims are conspiring with the same Americans to thwart their new global revolution, you can put it down to one more inevitable contradiction between the leader of this coalition and its biggest ally.

Or, on the other hand, you can figure it for what it is, a very Indian trait, typical of our lazy, self-indulgent, smug hypocrisy, which stretches from our fascination for everything foreign, from brands to money and education for our children, to our perpetual suspicion of everything foreign and, therefore, our perpetual search for the foreign scapegoat. Every time you see this hypocrisy, it reminds you of Jairam Ramesh8217;s unforgettable line on how we Indians love to hate to love to hate America: Yankee go home, but take me with you.

THE corporate world and financial markets are also not immune to this virus. Every time the Sensex goes up 600 points, it is because the world is finally coming to its senses and acknowledging the Indian growth story. But the moment it falls, it underlines the perils of allowing the unbridled entry of global predators, the greedy, immoral, slash-and-burn-and-grab-your-money-and-run FIIs and, worst of all, hedge funds.

When the market falls, you can postpone looking at the fundamentals, slowing growth, or stalled reforms, even a control-freak RBI. There are not many business tycoons 8212; barring honourable exceptions like Rahul Bajaj 8212; who would live so dangerously as to blame anybody closer home for any fall in the markets. My favourite of all times is the budget, that every corporate worth his market cap bitched about endlessly. But when TV anchors asked the same corporates to rate it on a scale of ten, what was the answer: seven and half, eight, great for equity, we need distribution, fantastic if government spends on health and education. So much easier to blame the foreigner, the FIIs and hedge funds who are moving away, or losing interest. It is as if what Thomas Friedman describes as the global herd is out to pillage and rape India. Then you do not remember that it brought 180 billion dollars to this market, and paid for that Bentley in your garage.

Run your eye over the world of business and finance and you will find it is ruled by the same, fascinating Indian contradiction, love and suspicion of the foreign and also the desperate need to find a foreigner 8212; or the foreign hand 8212; to blame for your problems. The entire establishment 8212; while wooing foreign money 8212; is united in trying to protect us from it! Egyptian and Chinese companies are dismissed as suspect if they invest in our telecom. Dubai8217;s money in ports could be trouble 8212; as if they will give the Pakistani navy special wartime discounts 8212; while its ruler is feted by our prime minister. So telecom and media must have Indian CEOs and editors, even if they have foreign equity. You really wonder what would have been the fate of Vodafone if Arun Sarin was a full-blown Chinese rather than a true-blue IIT-ian!

AS India learns to ride the wave of globalisation, this hypocrisy is like a coin with two crooked sides. While one is the usual Yankee go home, but take me with you; the other is what we learnt in our school textbooks, in our school assemblies and on Akashvani, door hato ai duniya waalo, Hindustan hamara hai go away, the outsider, India belongs to us. After four decades of brain-washing, which taught us to fear the foreigner, blame everything on the foreign hand, learn to love everything swadeshi, find imports ruinous, consider import substitution as national duty, it is tough for three generations of Indians currently living out this spectacular decade to embrace globalisation. So you have the forces of fear and fascination, confidence and suspicion, pride and satisfaction, all playing out at the same time. We are paranoid when Egypt8217;s Orascom bids for Hutch, but call it global conquest when Tata buys Corus. How fantastic that Mira Nair will direct Johnny Depp in a movie set in Mumbai8217;s underbelly and armpits. But we must, at the same time, use our most effective weapon of mass destruction, the bureaucrat in the home and HRD ministries, to prevent Fulbright scholars from researching the dating okay, mating habits of elephants in the Nilgiris.

In its latest cover story, 8216;Globalisation8217;s Offspring8217;, The Economist catches this phenomenon quite marvellously, and puts an optimistic spin to it. It talks about companies like Tata and Infosys rising as new global corporations setting precedent and pace for the rest of the world, and also injecting a dose of confidence and optimism back home, where it is so needed. Maybe our business, which is the greatest beneficiary of globalisation, will help us overcome this love-cum-paranoia of the foreign as more of globalisation8217;s Indian offspring come of age.

At which point I really can8217;t help returning to cricket, but only to make you feel better; a great story to tell us we are not the only ones to look for foreign scapegoats. In England8217;s Ashes series of 1930, an English fan nudged the Aussie sitting next to him and asked, as Duleep Singhji came out to bat: 8220;Now, do you have a maharaja in your team?8221; But soon enough, the great stylist was out cheaply, and as the Australian looked pityingly at his English neighbour, came the answer: 8220;Bloody nigger. How do you expect them to know how to bat!8221;

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