Iron maiden

Even as her thoughts play the devils advocate,a bison-like snort signals the final move. Heaving violently one last time,she defies both her mind and gravity,searching in desperation for a state of physical and mental equilibrium. The right leg thrusts backwards and takes root,helping her hoist the weight of the world above her shoulders. At the training session in National Institute of Sports in Patiala,and despite the odds that life has thrown at her,Monika is still standing.

Returning to the sport after a two-year,self-imposed hiatus,Monika waits for her chance to prove her worth,all over again. She may have done so in the past with several national records and a silver in the previous edition of the Commonwealth Games,but today,she has to start from scratch. Monika was once Indias prime contender to repeat,if not better,her idol Karnam Malleswaris Olympic feat. But her dramatic,well-documented withdrawal from the Beijing Olympics still remains a bitter pill to swallow.

The 28-year-old from Manipur speaks about the dark times,reluctantly.

It was the 5th of August,three days before the 2008 Olympics when a news channel claimed that I had tested positive. I was three hours away from boarding my flight to China when I was formally told that I failed my dope test. I couldnt believe it. I had taken numerous dope tests in the weeks leading up to the big event and cleared all of them. It was a set up and my dream to compete in the Olympics was shattered, Monika recalls. The test was conducted in June,the result reportedly kept under wraps through July and announced at the 11th hour in August. She wept on national television,pleading innocence and claiming that there was something fishy about the whole ordeal.

The issue snowballed into a political controversy. Shops and markets in Manipur shut down after the announcement on TV. There was a curfew in my state the following day. Manipur chief minister Okram Ibobi Singh personally took up my issue and flew down to Delhi to meet the Prime Minister. An inquiry was ordered from the highest authorities in the country and I came out clean in three days, she says.

Although it was one of the quickest probes in Indian athletics,it was three days too late for Monika. While August 10,2008 should have been a day to celebrate for Monika and her well wishers,the Olympics had already kicked off in Beijing with the final list of participants,forcing her to miss the event by a whisker. A CBI probe was subsequently ordered,but she knew that the results wouldnt heal the wounds. With a fractured ego,she quit the sport. The case was soon withdrawn.

There was no point in going on with everything that was happening at that time. The situation became a little too stifling for my comfort. I had to take an indefinite break for my mental health and sanctity.

Lost in the obscurity of Bisnupur,a village in the outskirts of Imphal,Monika took refuge in her only comfort: family. Soon,her sports fanatic father and athlete sisters the elder one plays volleyball,the younger is an international fencer cajoled her back to training at the home gymnasium.

I closed the ugly chapter pretty quickly,but never wanted to return to the book. Although I was working out to keep myself occupied,I had no future plans in the sport. My thoughts took shelter in my previous achievements. Monika spent most of her free time which she suddenly had plenty of to go through the photo albums of the past,of the days brimming with happy memories. She takes one more trip down

memory lane.

Her first brush with heavy weights happened at a very young age,when she would plead with her family members to help shift large items from one room to another. Even while she played football at school,Monika would invariably overpower her opponents to submission. I was very strong even as a little girl,so my father decided that I should take up weightlifting as a career, she says,nostalgically.

By the time the formalities of her Class 12 examinations were completed,Monika had muscled her way to several junior national titles and a national lifting record in the 63kg category. Malleswaris burst of strength at the Sydney Olympics motivated her to do the same,as she returned with a bronze from her first international event in Kazakhstan,followed almost immediately with three gold medals at the Commonwealth Championships in Malta.

She soon moved on to her current category of 69 kg,pulverising national marks on the way,before she returned home from the Melbourne Games with a silver dangling around her neck. Two more silver and a bronze at the Asian Championships in Japan next year saw Monika book her spot for the Beijing Olympics,but thats about as far the reel of good memories flow in the checkered film.

When I couldnt find anymore pleasant memories,my father asked me to look towards the future and create new ones. He made me understand that I could not run away from hardships,because thats what the weak and the coward do. It was then that I decided to pick up the pieces, Monika says.

Exactly two years after the Olympics ceremoniously opened without her in Beijing,Monika returned to the sport on August 8,2010 for the Commonwealth Games trials. While the critics wrote her off even before she could enter the weightlifting hall,Monika breezed past the qualifiers to book her berth in Delhi. After escaping the mental prison,Monika has returned once again to stare at the iron bar.

This is the most important phase of my life. If I win gold in the upcoming event,I will have proved my detractors wrong. I cannot get a better opportunity to showcase my real worth. As the tournament will be played in our country,I will get my chance to make up for all that had gone wrong two years back, she says.

Just like the enormous coloured discs of weight she fights against at the training hall everyday,life has been an immense burden on the Manipuri athlete. And just like the drill,that load is begging to be clattered to the wooden floor. It will have to wait until next month though,for Monika knows that once the coat of chalk powder is applied over her greasy palms at the Games venue,redemption is but a clean and jerk away.

Monika will surely bag a disc in delhi: coach

By putting the past behind her and returning to the national fold,Monika Devi took the firststep and the toughest one. Ever since though,the core group of trainers at NIS Patiala including head coach Harnam Singh have worked as blinders to Monikas vision,helping her keep the focus only on the future.

Monika Devi is an outstanding lifter. Ever since she has put the Beijing Olympics episode behind her and returned to hardcore training,she has been working sincerely and we have done our best to motivate her from our side, Harnam Singh said,while watching Monika from the sidelines.

Harnam claims that when Monika started training for the Games,she was still suffering from bouts of depression. When she came back,Monika was physically as strong as ever,but mentally she was a little weak,due to depression. But things have fallen into place in training so far and we have been observing her progress keenly, he said,adding,Monika is a great athlete who will bring much glory to the country and weight lifting. With a silver in the previous edition,we are expecting her to equal her feat,if not better it.

In womens weightlifting,Monika is not the only medal hope,the event is infested with several others. Apart from Monika 69kg category,Harnam believes that Sonia Chanu,Sandhya Rani both 48kg and Renu Bala 58kg are all sure-shot medal hopes.

We have done a large scale comparison with lifters from other Commonwealth nations and the current world ranking of these lifters. According to the current situation,I am absolutely sure that medals in atleast three categories 48,58 and 69 are guaranteed. Chanu hasnt competed in the Commonwealth Games before,but she is sure to bring home the gold. She was the gold medallist at the Commonwealth Championships earlier this year and according to the rankings too,she is our best hope, Harnam added.

The head coach for both the mens and womens teams feels that the upcoming Games is weightliftings best chance to reclaim its squeaky clean image. There has been nothing but bad news for us in the recent past. We want to atleast earn acclaim amongst the masses in India. This could be the right opportunity.