Plan to beat all masters

My friend meanwhile was unstoppable. 8216;8216;The study is based on traffic projections of 2010 8212; the number of flyovers, rapid transport systems, international airports, metro rails and the number of cars and aircraft that land in Delhi every minute.8217;8217;

8216;8216;So which is the best place to stay in Delhi?8217;8217; I asked. 8216;8216;Underground shelters,8217;8217; was the reply. 8216;8216;The Delhi government has already embarked on another plan to ensure 8216;clean and green8217; Delhi. There would be tree landscaping, buildings underground and all transportation would be overground.8217;8217;

8216;8216;When would this start?8217;8217; I asked, sensing a page one story.

8216;8216;Very soon,8217;8217; was the reply. 8216;8216;By the time all the flyovers would be built and metro rail ready, commuters would quietly be shifted in several phases.8217;8217;

8216;8216;Should not someone know about this?8217;8217; I asked, now worried that one day my friendly neighbour would simply disappear. 8216;8216;You want to leak to this to the media?8217;8217; fumed my friend. 8216;8216;When will you chaps stop interfering with progress.8217;8217;

8216;8216;The next item,8217;8217; he continued, 8216;8216;is what you should drink. It is now revealed that all soft drinks are polluted. Milk has urea and shampoo. Delhi8217;s water causes rashes and forces most people to look at racketeers for role models.8217;8217;

8216;8216;So what do you drink?8217;8217; I asked worried.

8216;8216;The Masterplan reveals Delhiites are already used to pesticides, shampoo and contaminated water in their milk and soft drink,8217;8217; he said. 8216;8216;In fact the Centre for Disorderly Action has revealed Delhiites have shown preference for a certain shampoo in milk. For drinking water Delhiites are used to contaminated Trans-Yamuna water. Our study group is contacting international brands to package some drink based on these habit-forming contaminations. The Madhya Pradesh government has offered to help set up 8216;cow urine bars8217;.8217;8217;

I didn8217;t realise that so much planning had gone into all this. 8216;8216;What next?8217;8217; I asked.

8216;8216;What do you want to see?8217;8217; asked my friend. 8216;8216; We are now introducing CAS. It is conditional access. Zone one South Delhi, Posh Bombay, parts of Judges Court Road in Calcutta and Mylapore in Madras will watch only one kind of television. The rest of India will watch quite another.8217;8217;

8216;8216;These projects would cost hundreds of crores,8217;8217; I pointed out. 8216;8216;There would again be charges of corruption.8217;8217;

8216;8216;That8217;s another innovation in the Masterplan,8217;8217; was the rebuttal. 8216;8216;All financial decisions would be scrutinised even before they are taken. Work will start only after committees give their report on purchases that have yet to take place!8217;8217;