Picture this

As I stood in line to watch my first movie ever on the big screen, a thought exploded in my mind: the queue outside Orient cinema in Kolkata

As I stood in line to watch my first movie ever on the big screen, a thought exploded in my mind: the queue outside Orient cinema in Kolkata was no different from those that formed during the 8216;crackdown8217; in Kashmir in which people were asked to assemble in a ground for an identification parade by the mukhabirs informers. I use the word 8216;exploded8217; probably because I belong to Jammu and Kashmir; I am influenced by the language of conflict. The trip to Kolkata was my first trip outside Kashmir. The year was 1997. I was 17.

As the doors of the movie hall opened, a harrowing experience began. The crowd jostled to get inside. As I entered with my father, I fell to the ground. That embarrassment will haunt me throughout my life. It was pitch dark and I had failed to see the staircase. All because I was not familiar with the topography of the cinema hall. Cinema halls were closed in the Valley in 1989; about ninety per cent of my generation has never been inside one.

I was surprised by the number of people sitting in one place to watch a movie. Suddenly, a deafening sound erupted. It was the advertisements 8212; prelude to the movie. For a Kashmiri, the decibel was too high to bear. When we watch a movie at home in Kashmir, the volume is maintained at a level, so that one can keep track of barking dogs and the sound of bullets. When you do hear the sounds of either militant or military movement outside, you know it is time to switch off the lights. So for me, the high volume in the cinema hall was not irritating, it was maddening.

Just as I got attuned to the surroundings, some mushy scenes came on. The movie was Dil to Pagal Hai. Elders giggled and youngsters passed comments. In Kashmir I would have either pressed the fast-forward button on the remote or left the room if an elder was present. That different age groups were watching this together, left me dumbstruck. I was less interested in the movie now, more in the crowd8217;s behaviour. This was a completely new world to me.

Every time a song played, the decibel level would reach sky-high. In the interval, I decided to leave because the sound had given me a headache. But I was not allowed to leave the hall by the guard. It seemed no different from a military crackdown! I pledged not to watch a film in a hall again. I felt that I lacked both etiquette and tolerance for the movies!