Off the record

For instance, the second week of April is a non-working week. While April 8, Wednesday, is Bakri Id, the following day is Mahavir Jayanti, and the last working day of the week is accounted for by Good Friday. To round up the whole week with holidays, the first two days are declared as non-working days for the court staff! However, the staff will have to compensate by working on two other off8217; days to compensate for the holidays.

Similarly, the seven-day Diwali vacation has now been extended to 15 days, though the administrative staff will work during the first seven days of the vacation. The Christmas vacation has also been extended to 17 days instead of of the usual eleven days.

Curiously, this diarist found out that the current calendar resembles the one designed five years ago. During the last five years there was no such happy permutation of holidays.

Strange bedfellows

The sacred and the sombre make for a strange tie-up at the Office of the Registrar of Marriages, Bandra. This diarist saw the glow of happiness among the dozens of couples who flock to this office at any given time every day to tie the nuptial knot. The contrast for the solemn occasion is provided by the typical jaded look of a government office. Brides in wedding finery jostle with officious members of the lower bureaucracy and a glum official presides over the proceedings in place of a shloka chanting pundit. The 15-minute ceremony ends even as a photographer clicks away the man and women declared as husband and wife for posterity.

Palms have to be greased here as well. The clerks, ever so eager to please, end up with a neat baksheesh for their pains while the marriage officer goes home with an entirely different kind of perk 8212; boxes of sweets as reward for his long day8217;s routine work.

Science fiction

Lack of acumen among school students was on display at the Regional Science Exhibition held recently. While taking a round of the exhibits, this diarist tried to find out the ideals in the scientific world among the participants. Queried about their favourite scientist, one bright-eyed kid said, 8220;Wright bandhu.8221; In the times of extensive air travel that was not surprising. But why? 8220;They discovered jet aeroplane,8221; said another.

The Wright brothers would be turning in their graves for being credited for inventions which came much after their deaths. They flew the prototype airplane way back in 1902 while Sir Frank Whittle invented the jet engine only in the thirties. Yet another student voted for Dr Venkatesh Vardhan sic for inventing Nehru Planetarium. A fourth student insisted Dr Vikram Sarabhai discovered the cosmic rays!

Name game

For a minister who takes pride in his media image, Maharashtra8217;s minister of state for education Anil Deshmukh got his comeuppance at the hands of a petty school official last week. Keeping an eye on the polls, Deshmukh gathered a gaggle of reporters and made a round of schools ostensibly to verify the safety of school buses.

At the famous Sharadashram school, Dadar, alma mater of cricketing greats like Sachin Tendulkar, Vinod Kambli and a host of others, Deshmukh was shocked to see the poor state of its school buses. Feeling that the problem should be sorted out from the top, he tried to barge into the principal8217;s office. But he has not reckoned with low-level protocol. This diarist witnessed a junior school official, who evidently has not been reading the newspapers, asking the visitor in a hurry to identify himself. Even as he tried to hide his discomfiture from the accompanying gaggle of reporters, Deshmukh explained the purpose of his visit and awaited his turn to be called in to meet the school authorities.

Station story

A harried looking man got into a crowded Thane slow local from Dadar and tried to work his arm through a maze of hands groping around for a grip on the hand-rails.

quot;How many minutes does the train stop at a station here?8221; he asked in an exasperated tone. When informed that the boarding time for a commuter was just a minute or two, the man is shocked. 8220;In Calcutta, even the metro trains stop for at least five minutes at each station,8221; he claimed.

Pat came the reply, 8220;If trains stop for five minutes here, the whole station would barge into them.8221; The man stood silent for the rest of the journey.