Nation at the crosslines

A Week before Independence Day, Union Telecom Minister Sushma Swaraj energised the nation by getting dial tones throughout the country to beep, Vande Mataram8217;. Unfortunately, this otherwise commendable and patriotic move had the effect of crippling phone services in some exchanges8230;

Hello, hello, hello, can you hear me, sun sakhte hain kya?
Vande Mataram8230;
Wanne8230;? Wanne do what? No, man, I don8217;t jive8230;
Damn, a cross connection8230;can you hear me?
What you are telling, madam, I not understanding. Kripaya, speak in rashtriya bhasha strictly. We are Indians only. Angrezi, no admission, no permission. Coca-Cola down, down8230;
Vande Mataram8230;
Yeh hai Hindustan, land of surprises, surmises, suspenses8230;Jai Hind!
Jayalalitha. What do you want, sister? What is in your heart? You saying, I doing. You telling, I coming in airplane next day only8230;
As our leader is saying, our stand on the Cauvery still stands on its legs.Madam will give appropriate knock-out punch at appropriate time only8230;
Sare jehan se achcha8230;
We are celebrating on this occajion the bird-day, yaani janam din, of our dear motherland, sisterland, brotherland. What, this foolish brain of mine is forgetting father, honourable pita, head of family8230;Fatherland. Happy bird-day to one and all8230;
8230;Hindustan hamara, hamara8230;
Hello, hello, what is your good name, plis? Ah, I was knowing that you are baniya only8230;
Vande Mataram8230;
Bhaiyon aur behenon, from Bharat ka capital, here are going my salutations, my dear bretheren and sisteren8230;My heart is overflowing with pride. Do not be forgetting that our dear Motherland is the peaceful land of the atom bumb. Come to my backside and I will show big, big bumb8230;Yehi hai right choice, baby! Ah-ha!8230;
Jai Shri Ram8230;
Jai Shri Krishna. Sri Krishna Report, down, down. Sab bakwas. He must be Muslim in disguise, otherwise he willnot be writing stupidnonsense8230;
If we have to do it, we will do it again. Who is to stop me? Only patriotic people must stay in this desh8230;
Vande Mataram8230;
Bal Thackeray, great man. Jai Maharashtra! He wants Clean Mumbai, Green Mumbai. No Bangladeshi/ Vangladeshi8230;Hum do, humare do8230;
Namaskar, yeh hai Hindustan8230;if you know the extension of the person with whom you wish to converse, dial now. If not, wait for the operator8230;
Operator, operator, hello, hello, is that Fault Repair? There8217;s something wrong with my phone, it keeps saying Vande Mataram 8230;
Be an American patriot, invest in Resurgent India Bonds8230;
No marriage bonds outside our samskara, plis. We will not allow outsiders to marry our kunwaris8230;
Don8217;t misunderstand, madam, these are routine Independence Day eve tranfers8230;
The rupee today stands at Rs 43.23 to the dollar8230;
Hello, hello8230;hell, is this a cross connection or what?
TheFinance Minister says that the rupee will find its own level. Like every Indian will. Some above the poverty line, some below it. Take your place right now.
It is our patriotic duty to be patriotic, so please say Vande Mataram a hundred times every morning after doing surya namaskar8230;
The government will be not going. Going. Not going8230;
The Home Minister says he will resign after the next blood bath in the Valley. Will he, won8217;t he? 8212; Hum honge kamyaab, jaya, jaya, jaya hai!
This song is not appropriate for this august okaijen. Please changing tune to more suited8230;
Hello, hello8230;
We are taking pride in our priya scientists, who made big bumb blast in Pokharan. They can make bumb blast any time we are asking them. Jai Jawan, Jai Kisan, Jai Vigyan, Jai Lalitha. Peace through war, peace through bumb8230;
What is time being now, plis?
Two minutes to doomsday, man.
What you saying sir, I not understanding thismisunderstanding8230;
There is no one to take your call at the moment. Please cast your vote now, after the beep8230;
Vande mataram8230;
Wrong number.
Hello, hello? What no sound only. What fool you are playing?