Jai Lootania!

First, a quick introduction to Lootania. You may not find it on any map, but it is a region we are all familiar with. This land Prime land ...

First, a quick introduction to Lootania. You may not find it on any map, but it is a region we are all familiar with. This land Prime land in the Lootania8217;s Capital can be had at a one-hundredth the market rates, if you are part of the loot parivar! is one overflowing with rivers of oil Want a petrol pump of your own? You could have it if you pump the loot parivar!.

You can actually inhale the heavenly fragrance of its gas Want an LPG agency? Well you will first have to activate your gas connections with the loot parivar! in its cool hawa-la transactions. In Lootania, we welcome every peddler who comes to our door with open arms Just contact the secretary of the loot parivar to hand over your donations!: Small arms? Big arms? With shooting so much in demand, can looting be far behind?

Like every other nation, Lootania celebrates its freedom in great style every year, when patriotic citizens recall the great visionary statement made on that historic occasion when Lootania made its tryst with looting. Given its significance, I repeat for new arrivals to Lootania, that marvellous articulation of patriotic duty made 55 years ago, when Lootania achieved its freedom 8212; to loot the country for all time to come.

8220;Long years ago we made a tryst with looting, and now the time come when we shall redeem that pledge, not wholly or in full measure, but very substantially.

8216;8216;At the stroke of the midnight hour, when the world sleeps, Lootania will awake to life and looting. A moment comes which comes but rarely in history, when we step out of old practices of looting to new ones, when an age ends and when the looted soul of a nation long suppressed, finds utterance in new looting. It is fitting that at this solemn moment we take the pledge of dedication to Lootania8217;s looting and to the still larger cause of more looting.

8216;8216;At the dawn of history, Lootania started on her unending quest of looting, and trackless centuries are filled with her strivings for loot and the grandeur of her successes and her failures to loot. Through good and ill fortune alike, Lootania has never lost sight of that quest or forgotten the ideals which gave her strength to loot. We end today a period of ill fortune and Lootania discovers herself again in looting.

8216;8216;The achievement Lootania celebrates today is but a step, an opening of looting opportunity to greater looting triumphs that await us. Are we brave enough and wise enough to grasp this opportunity and accept the challenge of a looted future? Freedom in looting bring responsibility. That responsibility rests upon this political dispensation representing the sovereign looters of Lootania.

Story continues below this ad

8216;8216;The future is not one of ease or resting but of incessant looting so that we might fulfil the pledges we have so often made to ourselves. The service of Lootania means the service of ourselves. It means that each of us ends our individual poverty.

8216;8216;And so we have to labour and to work, work hard at looting, to give reality to our dreams. Those dreams are for Lootania, but they are for all the looters too closely knit together today by looting for any of them to imagine that they can live apart from looting. Peace has been said to be indivisible, so is freedom, so is prosperity now, and so also is looting in this one world that can no longer be split into isolated fragments.

8216;8216;To the people of Lootania, whose representatives we are, we make appeal to join us with faith in this great adventure of loot and pillage. This is not time for petty and obstructive criticism, no time for police or court cases. We have to build the noble mansion of Lootania, where all her looters may dwell. Jai Lootania!8217;8217;