Hate Mail From Broadway

A PLAIN Old Bomb8217; screamed USA Today8217;s headline. New York Post called it 8216;A Sari Affair8217;. And Washington Post was equall...

A PLAIN Old Bomb8217; screamed USA Today8217;s headline. New York Post called it 8216;A Sari Affair8217;. And Washington Post was equally savage with 8216;Belly Up in Bollywood8217;. Clearly, Andrew Lloyd Webber8217;s musical, Bombay Dreams, has not gone down too well with critics in the US. Which isn8217;t too different from its reception in London. Most critics panned the musical when it opened at London8217;s prestigious Apollo Victoria Theatre two years ago. However, it went on to become a super hit, with audiences thronging to see the 8216;Bollywood spectacle8217;.

But that is no indication that it might be a success on Broadway, cautions The New York Times8217; critic Ben Brantley, calling it an 8216;expensive model of blandness8217;. A similarly defiant success in New York is not assured, he says, because London has a much larger and more culturally conspicuous population of South Asian descent than New York does.

Bombay Dreams, the blindingly colourful musical, is about young, handsome Akaash Manu Narayan, who dreams of Bollywood movie stardom both for personal ambition and to make enough money to prevent his slum neighbourhood from demolition. He finds his opportunity through a chance encounter with a beautiful aspiring director, Priya Anisha Nagarajan, who8217;s working on a beauty pageant. When Akaash prevents the pageant from being derailed by angry protesters through an exuberant song and dance, he attracts the attention of diva-like movie star Rani Ayesha Dharker. Soon he is seen acting with the 8216;witchy8217; Rani in her new film Diamonds in the Rough. Of course, Bollywood veterans like us can predict the rest with both eyes shut!

Shekhar Kapur and Lloyd Webber conceived the show as a summary of Bollywood elements. They brought in AR Rahman and Don Black to write the score and Meera Syal to do the book. To appeal to Bollywood virgins in Broadway, the musical has had a major makeover. For starters, the songs, by Rahman, are now performed by a 19-member orchestra, nearly twice the size of that in London. Some numbers have been rearranged and a criminal sub-plot has been dropped. And the one-liners have been plumped up via three-time Tony-winning writer Thomas Meehan Annie, The Producers, Hairspray. The New York Post critic is not impressed, saying Bombay Dreams 8216;is now fancier and less muddled, also less original than it was in London8217;! Perhaps the only star of the show is Dharker the sole survivor from the London version, who has been given glowing references, especially for her Shakalaka number. 8216;Equipped with dangerous curves and a blindingly self-satisfied smile8230; Ms Dharker achieves what the rest of the production aspires to but rarely realises8217;. This is the first time an Indian-themed show is appearing on Broadway. It is also the first time that a Broadway show is almost entirely populated by South Asian actors South Indian, rather. So while it8217;s believed that most of the 5 to 6 million in advance sales is non-desi, NRIs are hoping that word of mouth will keep the musical alive. With such reviews, they say it8217;s best to see the show while they still have the chance.

Talking about reviews, here8217;s something from USA Today8217;s Elysa Gardner. 8216;How do you say 8216;8216;mind-numbing bunk8217;8217; in Hindi?8217; she asks. 8216;Lloyd Webber is only Dreams8217; producer, but he has a fellow spirit in Rahman, whose music, a syrupy stew of faintly spiced pop cliches, suggests the equivalent of a Big Mac sprinkled with curry powder8217;.

Well, you can8217;t blame her, especially when you hear Black8217;s lyrics in this number sung by Akaash to his fellow villagers: 8216;8216;I8217;ll come back with china plates for you to eat on/Some Persian rugs for you to wipe your feet on/And a toilet that has a toilet seat on.8217;8217; Ugh.