Hand-me-ups

Many will reach for a dictionary as they read this piece. Yet I thought I must share this new word, coined by my family. We have two grown-up boys 8212; both of whom are taller than me now 8212; and a recent trend in the family is for me to use the clothes and shoes discarded by them. There are instances when an old suit given to the younger fellow 8212; his waist still measures two inches less than mine 8212; was returned to me a couple of years later because 8220;no one wears double-breasted jackets now and in any case the trousers are too short for me8221;. Thankfully earlier alterations had left the margin on the waist intact. Thus did I acquire 8212; or rather 8220;outherited8221; 8212; another suit.

The other day I saw this beautiful pair of cherry-black brogue lace shoes in the elder son8217;s cupboard. I8217;d never seen him wear this pair. When questioned about the shoes, he explained that he couldn8217;t wear them because they were a little tight. So I promptly picked them up, had them polished nicely, and after furnishing them with a new pair of laces, wore the elegant pair to office two days later.

All went well until the afternoon. In fact I got some compliments for my new acquisition. It was around 4 pm when a colleague peeped into my room and asked me to join her for an impromptu meeting with some Brits. As I stepped out, I heard a loud clippety-clap follow me down the corridor and discovered, to my horror, that almost the entire sole of my left brogue was hanging loose. Only a small bit near the toe held the sole to the upper. Some hurriedly requisitioned adhesive tubes and several rubber bands later, I managed to shake hands with the visitors.

Later, as the mochi fixed the old 8216;dried8217; sole while I sat barefoot in my office, I ruminated a great deal on the travails of outheriting.