For Hire

The last of which I kept in mind as I parked at a stand and, after an hour of going without passengers, added my own aphorism: When in cabbieland, you wait more than you move.

The waiting and hoping is not surprising, given that Mumbai has over 50,000 of these black-and-yellow taxis vying for passengers. Plus drivers say that unlike in the past, when the city rocked every minute of the day, the communal riots and the consequent security concerns put Mumbai to sleep by one every night. There is also nothing romantic about being a cab driver, contrary to popular culture8217;s projections. It8217;s hot and cramped inside and it8217;s the only place you have for an entire day or night.

I got my first passenger8212;a bespectacled office-type8212;who needed to be dropped at Churchgate station. It was an extremely boring drive, which is what happens when men become, amongst all the things in the world, most compatible with their cellphones. My first earnings for the day came to 13 bucks and immediately after that I got real action. All this while, I drove as if I were on a Sony Playstation, getting at my destination and avoiding the cops like last decade8217;s fad. But soon enough, I got snared while inadvertently cutting a lane. In stepped an elderly, genial coppie with the trademark paunch, and right behind him were two young ones, who nibbled piranha-like at my misdemeanour.

An impassioned plead-beg-listen-it8217;s-like-this performance from my end, with my press card playing an impressive cameo swayed the elderly cop. He decided to let me go, without the customary fine or an even bigger rap since I didn8217;t have the requisite taxi permit. Our man asked me to park the car as soon as possible, ignoring the vociferous protests from the other two constables.

Just as I was making a slight alteration to Cabbie truth number 3 All cops are not bad people, I was flagged down by two matronly women. Off I went to Crawford Market, as fragments of conversation about some Dolly8217;s birthday, how it wasn8217;t properly arranged and how Sunil was not to be seen these days crossed over to my end of the cab. This was like life FM. Wonder what all cabbies get to hear8212;proclamations, threats, complaints, gossip8212;as they go through humid afternoons and sultry nights.

I switched the radio on, and out came a soppy 8217;80s Bollywood number and the city whizzed by. No sooner had the matrons been dropped, when a youngish bloke with computer books got in. 8216;8216;Colaba,8217;8217; he said, and Mumbai8217;s newest cabbie was on the move again. I looked at him in my rear-view mirror and smiled. He smiled back.

And then my cellphone rang. It was my landlord8217;s broker, a retired army major, who wanted to know whether I wanted to extend the lease on my rented flat.

I ignored the first call, but when the phone rang again I picked it up. Our discussion about the flat, brokerage etc freaked out the kiddo.

8216;8216;Wondering how a cabbie speaks decent English?8217;8217; I asked him as he stared rather incredulously at me. 8216;8216;I8217;m Abid Ali from Hyderabad and I used to work in a software firm in the US about two years back,8217;8217; I said in a pathos-ridden tone, rolling my R8217;s for that extra effect. 8216;8216;But then outsourcing got me. Today, some Indian is doing my job right here,8217;8217; I said.

The youngster didn8217;t believe me. 8216;8216;Really,8217;8217; he asked, 8216;8216;which software firm were you in and what platforms did you work on?8217;8217; I was rather stumped, but managed to croak out Sintel and something about back-end projects. And before he could ask me anything further, I launched into a saga about how I drove cabs in Santa Monica before deciding to come down here to do the same. 8216;8216;If Kerry gets the job, I8217;ll probably never be able to go back,8217;8217; I added. 8216;8216;So why don8217;t you look for a job here?8217;8217; he asked me. Well, I sort of like this, you know8212;you move, you stop, you meet people8212;it8217;s so much like life,8217;8217; I replied. We didn8217;t talk much after that, but upon reaching Colaba and after paying the money, he asked, 8216;8216;So, you think software is not a good idea, haan?8217;8217;

8216;8216;I don8217;t know,8217;8217; I said looking benevolently at him, 8216;8216;if I were you, son, I8217;d be very careful.8217;8217;