Fame146;s 15 minutes

This is what transpired over the telephone some months ago: 8220;Hello,8221; I said, when the phone rang. 8220;Is that Miss Thirty?8221;

This is what transpired over the telephone some months ago: 8220;Hello,8221; I said, when the phone rang. 8220;Is that Miss Thirty?8221; said the voice at the other end. 8220;Mrs Bharucha,8221; I replied sharply. 8220;Yes, yes, Miss Thirty Barua,8221; said the voice. I swallowed hard and asked in precise, razor-sharp tones: 8220;Who am I speaking to?8221; 8220;Excellent! Excellent! Miss Thirty Barua, I am Rita. Please part with some of your important time, madam. I will ask you three questions. If you answer them all correctly8230;8221;

I think she was reading it out from a written text, the way she went about delivering the spiel without the slightest pause or punctuation 8212; or indeed remorse for jumping into my day. Sensing my negative response, she pleaded, 8220;Just three questions only, madam. Only three, and you could get a prize.8221;

I was frying fish, with the cordless tucked between my chin and shoulder. The cooker was singing and Zeus was watching me with his big, brown, melting eyes, awaiting his mid-morning snack. 8220;Who was the world-famous German dictator?8221; she began. 8220;Hitler,8221; I replied in an emotionless voice, sucked into her game. 8220;Excellent! Excellent!8221; she exclaimed in encouragement. She went on, 8220;Who was the great Mahatma who changed India8217;s destiny?8221; I replied, 8220;Mahatma Gandhi.8221; She shot back, 8220;Terrific, madam! Now the last one: which is the renowned Parsi company famous for its wonderful refrigerators?8221; In a voice that was colder than the water in their 8216;wonderful8217; fridge, I replied, 8220;Godrej.8221; 8220;Brilliant, madam! You answered all the questions correctly. You are now eligible for the prize which will be given to you at a function this evening,8221; said the caller, as if she was bestowing a doctorate upon me.

She then gave me the address of a building in some godforsaken place in one corner of Mumbai. 8220;You must come here and collect your prize at a special function to be held in honour of all the brilliant winners,8221; she cooed. 8220;Look,8221; I said, cutting her short, 8220;I8217;m sorry but I won8217;t be able to make it this evening.8221; My answer did not surprise her in the least. All she said was, 8220;Okay then thank you for giving us your time. Have a nice day.8221; And the line went dead. I felt distinctly cheated. The least she could have done was to have coaxed me to come and collect my prize.

My 15 minutes of fame, and what did they get me? My prize was lost. My fish got burnt. The cooker made funny gurgling sounds. And Zeus sulked in a corner with his nose between his toes. Life is sometimes so cruel!