Birthday Blues

Now, I hate sci-fi movies. They make me wanna kill Spielberg and Lucas. And who wants to watch a movie alone? So I sold the ticket off to a fat slob too lazy to wait in a queue, at a premium price. the scarf, a little too loud for my closet and person, I used as a fancy cover for my new CD player. The t-shirt, I re-presented to another friend who shared my birthday.

The next day, I was in for a shock. Friend A swore at me and threatened never to talk to me. She8217;d reserved an entire row at the theatre and had invited all my friends. They had meant to surprise me but themselves had a shock when a fat, noisy character arrived in my place claiming that he8217;d bought his ticket in black from someone who fitted my description. Friend C called and said that she8217;d seen our other friend wearing her gift to me. And friend B unexpectedly dropped into my house and was horrified to see what use I8217;d put her beloved creation to.

This year I8217;m having another birthday. I8217;ve sent out three less invitations than usual. I8217;ve printed invitations with all the necessary details8230;day, date, time, place etc. I8217;ve also added an important footnote. It8217;s printed in big, bold, capital letters8230; NO PRESENTS PLEASE.