What to do when your partner is continuously on the phone

“Try. Try again. Keep trying. Behaviours don’t change overnight. If you keep communicating in warm, open, and compassionate ways, you can tackle these things together,” she shared.

Open communication can help (Source: Getty Images/Thinkstock)

Taking a cue, Jaisleen Kaur, image consultant, soft skills trainer, and life coach, Dehradun reflected on phone addiction and shared effective measures

Open communication: Start with an open and honest conversation. Share your feelings and concerns without judgment. Approach the discussion with empathy, recognising that phone use may be a habit or a coping mechanism. Encourage your partner to express their perspective as well, fostering a dialogue that strengthens understanding.

Practice assertive communication: Assertive communication is a crucial skill when addressing concerns about excessive phone use. Instead of being accusatory or critical, express your feelings assertively. Use “I” statements to convey your emotions and needs, such as “I feel disconnected when we’re both on our phones during dinner. Can we set some time aside to focus on each other without distractions?”

Active listening: Encourage your partner to share their perspective, and practice active listening. Be genuinely interested in understanding their reasons for being on the phone frequently. This not only fosters a sense of validation but also creates an environment where both partners feel heard and respected.

Establish boundaries: Work together to establish clear boundaries regarding phone usage. Define specific times or situations where both of you commit to being fully present with each other, free from digital distractions. This could be during meals, date nights, or other quality time you spend together.

Establish emergency communication guidelines: Recognise that there may be times when phone use is necessary, such as for work or emergencies. Discuss and establish guidelines for these situations, ensuring that both partners feel comfortable and secure when genuine exceptions to the phone-free zones occur.

Set mutual goals: Work collaboratively to establish mutual goals for reducing phone use and enhancing communication. By setting achievable targets, such as limiting screen time during certain hours or designating specific days for tech-free activities, you create a shared commitment to building a healthier, more connected relationship.

Introduce tech-free zones: Designate certain areas or times as tech-free zones. For instance, make your bedroom a sacred space where phones are left outside, fostering a conducive environment for intimacy and relaxation. Establishing these zones creates opportunities for genuine connection without the interference of screens.

Lead by example: Demonstrate the behaviour you wish to see. If you expect your partner to be present during conversations, model this behaviour yourself. By being mindful of your own phone habits, you set a positive example and create a shared commitment to fostering real connections.

Quality over quantity: Emphasise the importance of quality time over quantity. While it’s unrealistic to expect your partner to abandon their phone entirely, focusing on making the time you do spend together meaningful and distraction-free can enhance the overall quality of your relationship.

Explore shared activities: Discover activities that both of you enjoy and can engage in together. Whether it’s a hobby, exercise routine, or a shared project, finding common ground outside of the digital realm strengthens your bond and provides an alternative to screen time.

Use positive reinforcement: Acknowledge and appreciate efforts made by your partner to reduce phone usage and prioritise your relationship. Positive reinforcement goes a long way in fostering behavioural changes. Celebrate small victories and milestones, reinforcing the idea that building a stronger connection is a joint effort.

 

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Reflect and adjust: Regularly revisit the established boundaries and goals. Relationships evolve, and so do individual habits. Take time to reflect on what is working well and what may need adjustment. Be open to adapting your approach to ensure that both partners feel heard, understood, and valued.