Shehnaz Treasury lists down red flags to avoid on dates; experts share insights

Although there are many habits one should be wary of when trying to impress someone, famous travel influencer Shehnaz Treasury took to Instagram to share a few such.

 

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She shared a video of certain habits men should not indulge in when on a date. As such, we delved deeper into 6 these unacceptable behaviours with Dr Kathuria and Bumble’s relationship expert Shahzeen Shivdasani.

Talking about other women and conquests

A big red flag according to Shehnaz, she affirms, “Not interested!” Dr Kathuria notes, “The whole point of deciding to meet outside the virtual world is born out of common interest which makes you want to give meaning to the spark you’ve mutually felt over time. Talking about an ex or other women with a prospect is not a good sign, leading to that spark getting extinguished.”

Unable to make eye contact

Ask them if they would partake in a quick rapid-fire round with you (Source: Pexels)

Shehnaz said, “The eyes are a window into the soul.” Dr Kathuria explained, “Eyes speak louder than words. Even if you know your way around making conversations, you can’t let your eyes not do the talking because they’re vital in showing you’re attentive and interested.”

Displaying no purpose in life

We all understand the importance of matching on an emotional as well as an intellectual level. “Having no dreams, no passions, no hobbies” is clearly not going to work out for Shenaz. “The women of today are empowered and constantly aiming at success. Thus, they love a man who also has his goals set as much as she does. Studies have also established women being supportive of their man’s ventures and strongly believe in building an empire with him,” said Dr Kathuria.

Shivdasani added, “Everybody loves a good list of goals to accomplish.”

Using the word ‘bored’

Shehnaz’s mom always used to say to her, “Only bored people get bored.”

“For a man who believes in hustling, where is the time to get bored?” noted Dr Kathuria. “To make anything work, what’s required alongside sheer consistency and respect is also excitement. Girls appreciate a man who has his mind brimming with ideas, but what they also love is if the man can ensure making his woman laugh and keep the fun going on a date.”

Shivdasani added what one can do to make sure it doesn’t turn out to be boring. “Ask them if they would partake in a quick rapid-fire round with you. Make it fun. It’s fair to say that for any connection to succeed, you’ve got to know the person better, including their preferences and hobbies.”

Acting as a narcissist

Get out of the virtual zone and make the most of the moment you’re in (Source: Pexels)

Shehnaz mentioned that her biggest turn-off is when a man makes it all about himself. “Selfie-taking dude – Not attractive!”

Dr Kathuria emphasised getting out of the virtual zone and making the most of the moment they’re in. She also pointed out that there’s nothing wrong with wanting to attend an important call while on a date. But, she urged men to display chivalry by “politely asking first and then excusing yourself. It goes a long way!”

Shivdasani suggested what one could instead do to avoid displaying self-obsession. “Pay attention to their profile. Notice anything unique? If you like something about someone’s profile, compliment them or ask them further questions about whatever catches your eye,” she said.

Giving mixed signals

Even if you decide in your mind it’s not going to work out, maintaining basic respect is important (Source: Pexels)

“One day we’re talking all night and snuggling, and the next day not one call or text?” — Shenaz does not approve.

Dr Kathuria said, “Even if you decide in your mind it’s not going to work out, maintaining basic respect is important and will always work in your favour. It’s perfectly okay to not be sure, but what is not okay is not respectfully communicating the same.”

She further said that today’s generation does not believe in courting and building on a relationship but also desires long-lasting results. Highlighting not to forego the essentials of a relationship, she said, “These behaviours come from a space of wanting to create attachments based on convenience. This not only leads to unpleasant experiences at an early stage but also creates several blocks towards finding a worthy partner in the coming years.”

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