‘He seems to be wooed by the female stars’: When Kareena Kapoor Khan called ex Shahid Kapoor a ‘ladies’ man’ post-breakup; why we use sarcasm to talk about our exes

When asked about Shahid appearing lonely and heartbroken after their breakup, she dismissed the idea with a touch of sarcasm. “He doesn’t seem that way, he seems to be wooed by the female stars. He seems to be a ladies’ man! So I don’t know about him being depressed and lonely,” she said. 

While Kareena ultimately wished him happiness, her response raises questions about post-breakup perceptions, and how we sometimes process pain through defensiveness or humour.

So, why do people often use sarcasm or humour when speaking about an ex — can this be a coping mechanism to mask deeper feelings?

Sonakshi Bhargava (PhD), psychologist and founder at Mental Health with Sonakshi, tells indianexpress.com, “As a therapist, I often see individuals use sarcasm or humor when discussing an ex-partner, and this can indeed be a coping mechanism. Humor can serve as an emotional buffer, allowing someone to speak about painful memories without fully engaging with the underlying hurt, anger, or sadness. Sarcasm, in particular, may help people regain a sense of control or superiority in situations where they once felt vulnerable. These expressions can mask unresolved feelings such as grief, rejection, or lingering attachment.”  

While they may provide temporary relief or social ease, she adds, over-reliance on humour can “hinder emotional processing and healing.” She says, “In therapy, I gently explore what lies beneath the laughter or sarcasm, creating space for clients to acknowledge and process their genuine emotions. Recognising these defense mechanisms is often the first step toward deeper emotional understanding and moving forward in a healthy, authentic way.”

How do post-breakup perceptions, like assuming an ex is ‘moving on too fast,’ affect one’s healing process, and what role does ego play in these interpretations?

Post-breakup perceptions, like thinking an ex is ‘moving on too fast,’ can deeply impact emotional healing. “These thoughts often stem from raw emotions and unprocessed grief rather than facts. When someone feels left behind, it can trigger self-doubt, jealousy, or a sense of inadequacy, making it harder to move forward. The ego plays a powerful role here — it craves validation and struggles with the idea of being replaced or forgotten. This can lead to distorted interpretations of an ex’s actions, fuelling emotional turmoil and delaying closure. What’s often overlooked is that everyone heals differently; one person’s pace doesn’t invalidate another’s experience. Recognising this helps shift the focus inward, toward personal growth and emotional clarity. Instead of feeding the ego’s need for comparison, healing happens when we honor our own timeline and feelings without judgment, allowing space for self-compassion and genuine recovery,” states Bhargava.