Breaking up is a painful process, one which tends to put the person experiencing it under a lot of stress. In fact, along with the daily challenges of regular life, a heartbreak can lead to disturbances in both the body and the mind, leading to mental and/or physical illnesses.
Mental Health Counsellor and Founder of Enso Wellness, Arouba Kabir, says that a mental illness doesn’t develop overnight — it’s a gradual process. “A troubled mind often makes you over-anticipate and become highly sensitized. It can also surface your triggers.”
“A breakup is accompanied by a sudden feeling of emptiness and sadness; the emotional experiences are exclusive to every individual, but losing a partner is such a drastic change in one’s life and routine. After a breakup, the journey to reclaim and relive yourself and be happy can seem like an uphill journey. And while it is tough, it can become easier by adapting small changes into your daily life,” she says.
Here are some simple things — that Arouba suggests you do — so as to reclaim your life and bounce back from a hearbreak. Read on.
* Acceptance is key: Start with the acceptance of whatever has happened. Give yourself some time to heal. You will go through some emotions like anger, denial, shock, and sadness. Feel and release each of these emotions. Stop feeling guilty; you’re human and things happen, try to keep a positive attitude.
* Engage in physical activities: Exercising releases healthy chemicals and feel-good hormones, which can uplift your mood, help you to stay calm and get better sleep.
* Talk it out: Talk to your friends and family, express your emotions and don’t let your thoughts and feelings get stuck inside your mind. When we are upset, we tend to overthink more and end up making scenarios in our head, thereby blaming ourselves. Connecting with a mental health professional is also advisable.
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* Pen down your thoughts: Writing about your feelings, emotions and thoughts every day, can help you keep a track of whatever it is that has helped you, or pulled you down. Notice the patterns and manage your day accordingly, keeping a safe distance from stressors.
* Avoid rebound sex and indulge in hobbies: Breakups creates a void which often makes people indulge in various distractions. But remember that it is time to heal and connect with yourself. Don’t suppress your emotions. Take up a healthy hobby or socialize.
* Join voluntary programmes: Anxiety, depression, PTSD, etc., are the most common consequences of failed relationships. It leaves the person shattered and may lead them to question their worth. It is, therefore, important to realise and re-emphasise your own worth, believe in yourself and trust the process.
Volunteering gives you a sense of accomplishment that boosts your self-esteem. You can volunteer at an old-age home or at a dog shelter or a plantation drive.
“If even after incorporating these changes things feel out of control, it’s absolutely okay to reach out and seek professional help. A therapist/counsellor can help you navigate these stressful times, help you accept the decisions, emotions, and most importantly, yourself. It’s important that in the end, you remember the good times, cherish the memories and wish your partner well in their life ahead,” Arouba concludes.
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