‘Because he is never wrong’: Farah Khan reveals husband Shirish Kunder hasn’t apologised in 20 years; the role of saying sorry in marriages

When asked if she still felt that way about him, she mentioned, “No. Now, I am used to him. It’s been 20 years.” Farah also shared that Shirish expresses his anger through silence, which she finds torturous. “Earlier, he used to get angry. And when he used to get angry, it was very annoying because a person is just keeping quiet and then they are torturing you by not talking,” she said.

When Archana probed further into their relationship and asked who usually apologises first after a disagreement, Farah said, “No one says sorry,” adding with a touch of sarcasm, “Shirish has never apologised to me in 20 years,” and quipped, “Because he is never wrong.” Despite the lack of verbal apologies, she shared that Shirish would still demand attention, saying, “And then he will just be after my life. If he talks, and if I even glance at my phone, he will walk out.”

But does the absence of an apology leave lingering resentment, or can a relationship thrive through other means of reconciliation? 

Importance of apologies in resolving conflicts and rebuilding trust in a marriage

Gurleen Baruah, existential psychotherapist at That Culture Thing, says, “Apologies are crucial in resolving conflicts and rebuilding trust in a marriage, but it’s not just about saying the word ‘sorry.’ True apologies go beyond words — they involve taking accountability, acknowledging the hurt caused, and making genuine efforts to change behaviour.”

For the partner on the receiving end, silent treatment can lead to feelings of rejection, invisibility, and emotional isolation. (Source: Express Archives/Prakash Yeram)

Psychological effects of prolonged silent treatment on a partner

Baruah stresses, “Silent treatment is a form of passive-aggressive communication, where the individual avoids addressing the issue directly and instead ‘punishes’ their partner by withholding communication. At its core, it conveys a toxic message: ‘You don’t exist to me right now.’”

For the partner on the receiving end, this can lead to feelings of rejection, invisibility, and emotional isolation. Over time, it creates a power imbalance in the relationship, where one person controls the dynamics, and the other becomes desperate for approval or validation — essentially walking on eggshells just to end the silence.

How to effectively resolve conflicts without explicit apologies

Resolving conflicts in a marriage isn’t just about saying ‘sorry.’ It’s about communication — verbal, non-verbal, and behavioral. “What truly matters is acknowledging the hurt, taking responsibility, and making a conscious effort to repair the relationship,” explains Baruah. 

Apologies come in different forms. Some people express them through changed behaviour — by genuinely correcting their mistakes and ensuring they don’t repeat them. Others show it through their actions, like making an extra effort to be considerate, responding to feedback, or expressing empathy in ways their partner understands. 

Love languages also play a role, notes Baruah, some may apologise through acts of service, quality time, or physical affection rather than words. What makes an apology real is not just the phrase, but the commitment behind it.