Dilip Kumar once fondly spoke about Dharmendra, praised his aura: ‘Iss kadar khoobsoorat, haseen chehra’; psychologist on compliments and comparisons among co-stars

Psychologists note that comparison is a universal behaviour, affecting everyone from ordinary individuals to celebrated actors. To better understand the dynamics behind such thoughts, we reached out to Neha Parashar, a clinical psychologist at Mindtalk, who explains why even the most successful can struggle with feelings of inadequacy and how to manage them.

Q1. Why do people tend to compare themselves with others, even if they are extremely successful?

“Comparison is a deeply ingrained human behaviour that stems from our evolutionary need to belong and gauge our place within social hierarchies, explains Parashar. She points out that even highly successful individuals are not immune to this instinct. The brain constantly seeks feedback to measure self-worth, and in today’s hyperconnected digital world, exposure to curated versions of others’ lives amplifies this urge. “For many, success becomes relative rather than absolute; achievements start feeling smaller when contrasted with someone else’s highlight reel.”

Q2. How does public recognition and fame impact self-esteem and feelings of ‘I’m enough’?

“Public recognition can initially boost confidence,” Parashar says, adding that “ when self-worth becomes tied to external validation, it creates emotional fragility.” She notes that fame often shifts a person’s internal compass from ‘Who am I?’ to ‘How am I being perceived?’ This dependency on applause can make one vulnerable to self-doubt when attention fades or criticism arises. “The constant scrutiny also creates pressure to maintain an idealised image, which can gradually distance individuals from their authentic selves, affecting their sense of being enough.”

Q3. What practical exercises or psychological strategies can help manage the stress and self-doubt that come from constant comparison?

“A useful first step is practising self-awareness — noticing when comparison arises and what emotions it triggers.” Parashar recommends cognitive reframing by replacing thoughts like ‘they’re better than me’ with ‘their journey is different from mine.’ The psychologist says that mindfulness meditation and gratitude journaling can also help train the mind to focus on personal growth rather than external benchmarks. Similarly, setting intrinsic goals, such as learning or creative fulfilment, helps anchor self-esteem internally. “Seeking therapy can also be transformative, providing tools to build a stronger, self-defined sense of worth that isn’t swayed by external measures of success,” she concludes.