Ningthoujam Ibemsana: ‘I want to give a better life to my children’

Ever since my husband died of COVID in 2021, I have suffered a great deal, both emotionally and financially. My husband, who was just 38 when he died, was the sole breadwinner of our family and I just didn’t know how to survive with my two children at a time when everything had slowed down and there were no jobs around. Though it was very painful to have lost my husband, I could not even grieve properly as I was so anxious about our future. I was speaking to my mother on the phone even now and was venting my frustration about my husband’s untimely death that has left me to take on the role of both mother and father to our children.

Nevertheless, we were fortunate that we did not starve. My husband was a social activist who worked selflessly to preserve and promote the indigenous religion (sanamahi). I received lots of help in these desperate times from friends and family and those who had worked with my husband — they still support us. But I could not go on surviving on charity and took matters into my own hands. I decided to open a small shop — a paan shop — in my backyard once the COVID situation improved. I would earn around Rs 700 to 800 but after deducting everything I was left with a couple of hundreds as profit. Although it was difficult to make ends meet, I constantly told myself to keep pushing for the sake of my two children. This year, 2022, came with a ray of hope. I got an offer from a long-time family friend asking me to fill in a vacant post as a primary teacher in a school that he runs in Imphal East district. I joined the school in March this year on a salary of Rs 5,000 a month. I am certain I will get a raise eventually.

What I want to leave behind from the past two years?

All grim memories and the ordeal I had to face

What I am looking forward to in 2023?

I am looking forward to giving a better life to my two children

— As told to Jimmy Leivon