Piyush Mishra feared alcohol would ‘end’ him, recalls returning from ‘destruction’: ‘Work saved me, or people would’ve killed me’

Mishra said even when he wouldn’t drink, his mind would function like an alcoholic so he would “react differently” to situations. “Like speaking some rubbish in front of elders. I returned from the verge of destruction. I knew if I continued like this, it would be the end of me.”

Piyush Mishra, who is currently gearing for his international music tour Udankhatola with his band Ballimaaraan, said he functioned with “dangerous” ego in that phase of his life. “I had a lot of ego, for no reason. Alcohol enhances your ego, your grandiosity increases, you try to project what you are not. Par zindagi ego deflation ka naam hai (life is all about ego deflation).”

Watch: Piyush Mishra’s interview on alcoholism, heartbreak, music and music tour:

The battle with the bottle coincided with Piyush Mishra’s peak, as he wrote songs like “Aarambh”, “Husna” and “Ghar”. When noted about this irony, Mishra said maybe if he wasn’t an alcoholic, he would have done “much better work quantity and quality wise.”

“It’s not just about work, my relations got over with family, children, wife and friends. I would say accept me the way I am, but why should they? I was an anti-social person. My work was saving me, my work is why I was respected, otherwise the things I have done, they would’ve killed me. Jis tareeke ki harkat karke aaya hu main, uske hisaab se log maar dalte mujhe. I got saved because I found a grip on me at last. Better late than never,” he said.

The veteran added that to overcome his addiction, he turned to spirituality and that truly helped rescued him from the clutches of alcohol. “I didn’t know what a prayer was earlier, but it helped to believe in some higher power. To find out God of your understanding. In the last six years, I am much better. I pray today and I feel a lot more at peace,” he added.

Mishra’s Udankhatola tour–curated by Tamboo Entertainment’s Rahul Gandhi and jointly produced by Thinking Hats–will begin on November 9 in Kolkata and span 15 Indian cities.