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It’s usually well meant advice from genuinely puzzled people who can’t fathom why,if not for monetary or health reasons,you would choose to have just one child. You have to shrug it off and remember human beings simply can’t resist giving unsolicited advice. I check my irritation by marveling for the thousandth time what people who actually have alternate lifestyles are up against. Imagine the conversations and questions they have to endure over a lifetime. You’ll regret it in your old age said one close friend recently,who’s currently snowed under rearing two kids aged 3 and 5. At least I’m enjoying my youth!

He’ll have no one of his own when you die,is another line I hear very often. With longevity being what it is these days,I assure them I’m around for some years yet. By which time hopefully,he’ll have learnt how to deal with loss. The funniest accusation is you’re worried about your figure. Who isn’t? But I’m a lot more worried about precious leisure time that depletes steadily with every added responsibility.

Parenting is hugely fulfilling,no doubt,and sibling relationships are the only ones that can last from birth to death. It’s very selfish not to give your child that experience,I’ve been told. But there are so many other things that can be equally fulfilling. Like reading. Or writing and travelling. I’m reminded of a very happy friend who doesn’t even keep a potted plant because he’ll have to water it every day.

Though onlies are way more common now than when I was growing up,the stereotype of single children as spoilt or selfish endures,even thrives. In Hindi movies,the drunken rapist was always the “bade baap ka eklauta aulad”. Despite no scientific research that proves single kids are in anyway identifiable,the perception of the solitary misfit is impossible to shake off. In India,our thoughts haven’t evolved as fast as our economy and we’re trained to follow the same drill. And myths unfortunately die a slow death. Eventually in India too,like Sweden,families with one child will outnumber those with two. Till then,count to 10 before fending off opinions on what your family’s size should be.

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