Name Game

On http://www.parentsconnect.com that incidentally carries the tagline “We’re not perfect we’re parents”,Durga as a name is rated very low on the popularity scale. It’s too impactful and serious,perhaps. What’s in a name? Infinite possibility,presume to-be parents who spend months agonising over options,from Maneka Gandhi’s Wonderful Book of Hindu Names to the zillions of websites that list titles from ancient Scotland and obscure African tribes. You want something original but not so original that other kids snigger at yours in the playground. An ideal name should have a profound meaning,be easy on the tongue,and of course,be completely undiscovered. I find it a little bizarre when Indian parents choose Russian or even Icelandic names for kids with no historical context whatsoever. Maybe it’s in keeping with the trend of that dreaded word,globalisation. But there’s a difference between pretentious and unique. Parents,of course,will fight bitterly and rubbish each others’ name choices,friends and relatives will look at you in horror when you read out your shortlist and many of your dream names will vanish before coming into existence.

I notice many more Indian children nowadays carry hyphenated versions of both parents’ surnames. In this generation,‘A’ names appear to be the most popular,possibly because parents think their child will be among the first in roll call,maybe even get to sit upfront and study harder. A generation of Vikrams and Priyas have given birth to Anyas,Aliyahs and Avanas. My son cribs that his turn comes last in every activity in school since his name begins with ‘V’ and he’s in Section F. Some schools now also conduct a roll call in reverse alphabetical order to be more fair.

There is some inconclusive research that suggests normal,popular names make for better adjusted kids and quirkily named children are more prone to being rebellious. This clearly doesn’t hold true if you’re a celebrity: Gwyneth Paltrow’s daughter is called Apple,a very adorable name I think but questionably weird for regular folk. Same goes for Aradhya,Aishwarya Rai Bachchan’s daughter,a very hard sounding unpronounceable name for little children,at least. I’m not sure how much names reveal about kids,but they tell you a lot about the people doing the naming. I’ve met a 10-year-old Zen who was returning from an art appreciation class. Zen may be a really cool name but if your name is a talking point you better end up doing something really cool. So a parent must think if he wants to even subtly pressure the child with the burden of a wild name. Not every Durga will turn out to be Nagpal.

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