Things parents should never say in front of kids

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1) Never say negative about your family members in front of them

When you talk negatively about your own family members in front of your children, they don’t respect them.

Concurring, Dr Rahul Chandhok, Head-Mental Health & Behavioral Science, Artemis Hospital, Gurgaon said, “It can contribute to the development of a negative and biased mindset. Children often look up to their parents as role models and when parents engage in negative talk, it normalises and perpetuates a culture of gossip and disrespect. Moreover, it can harm the child’s relationships with those being spoken about and can create tension and conflict within social circles. Encouraging kindness, empathy, and constructive communication helps children develop healthy and respectful relationships with others.”

2) Don’t argue or fight with your partner in front of them

Always solve your own personal issues in private.

Dr Chandhok said that witnessing parental conflict can cause significant emotional distress and anxiety in children. They may feel scared, helpless, or responsible for the arguments.

“It can undermine the stability and security of the family environment, affecting the child’s sense of safety and trust. Children often model their behaviour after their parents, so witnessing frequent conflicts may normalise aggressive or unhealthy communication patterns. By resolving conflicts privately, parents provide a more nurturing and harmonious environment, promoting emotional resilience, healthy relationship skills, and overall well-being for their children,” he said.

However, Shravani Bongu, Psychologist & PhD Scholar said it is healthy for children to see parents having constructive discussions and arguments which are followed by reconciliation. This acts as a model in conflict resolution for children and they see arguments and making up as a healthy part of a relationship. “But if the argument is explosive and not constructive, it can be highly distressing for children. It creates feelings of fear, anxiety, and insecurity. Children may perceive the conflict as a threat to their family’s stability and well-being. They might also blame themselves leading to guilt and shame.”

3) Never say anything bad about school and their teacher

Don’t share your viewpoints about school and teachers as they can lose interest.

What other topics should parents avoid discussing in front of their children?

Always solve your own personal issues in private. (Source: Freepik)

Parents should exercise discretion and avoid discussing certain sensitive topics in front of their children. “These topics include explicit details about their intimate relationships, financial problems, marital conflicts, discussions about divorce or separation, adult-oriented content such as violence or explicit language, and personal criticisms of family members or friends,” Dr Chandhok said.

Additionally, he said that topics related to complex adult issues like politics, religion, and controversial social matters should be approached with caution, considering the child’s age and maturity level.

“Talking about such things might interfere with a child’s world view and perception of people around them. Parents might pass on their cognitive distortions and beliefs. It might encourage switchboard communication, which is not a healthy style of communication and force children to inadvertently handle adult emotions too early,” Dr Dhanya Chandran, Consultant, Clinical Psychology, Amrita Hospital, Kochi told indianexpress.com.

On the other hand, she said parents should talk to their children about their values and value-based actions, reflections on behaviours, normalising apologising and feeling vulnerable, death, grief and confusing emotions. 

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