Opinion Express View: The familiar gaslighting of Kim Jong-un

In an age of Animals and alpha men, a manipulative softboi has emerged from the unlikeliest of quarters. Supreme Leader of North Korea, dictator and all-around Bond villain, Kim Jong-un, was moved to tears over the fate of communism in his country. At the fifth National Conference of Mothers in Pyongyang, Kim spoke about the decline in birthrates in the country, and exhorted women to have more children. The demographic demand, though, couched as it was in the rhetoric of the importance of mothers, was also a textbook example of gaslighting.

North Korea’s fertility rate, at 1.88, has declined but is still well ahead of South Korea (0.78), which is staring at a genuine population crisis. But in the latter, women are neither blamed nor held responsible for the situation — at least not as openly as Kim has done. But then, what choice does a dictator have? He cannot, after all, admit that according to most experts, the decline in fertility in North Korea is likely a result of his policies. The prolonged economic crisis has meant that most couples cannot afford more than one child. And years of forced family planning measures come with their own traumas. Addressing these structural issues requires a system that is more responsive and nuanced, not the tears of a dictator.

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There is, of course, something most Indian women will recognise in Kim’s outburst. Generation after generation, conservative family members have framed attempts at control in the language of duty. “All mothers should fulfil their responsibility and duty to society and families,” could easily be a post by the patriarch in a family WhatsApp group. And the tears of partners and in-laws are among the most standard coercive tools in families. There’s one thing to be said for the Indian family over the North Korean dictator though: At least the parivar doesn’t pretend to be communist.