Opinion We need a culture where a child feels seen and heard
As parents and teachers, if we are not able to render basic skills that deal with a child’s health and survival, then whose interests are we serving?
Why are we not worried that our children can’t cope with anxiety, are unable to express and articulate their feelings? 
Over four decades ago, I taught in a school and wrote the anthem that its scholars still sing in their morning assemblies — the same school where a tragedy of great magnitude occurred this week, when a child, unable to cope with stress and bullying, ended his life.
What are the emotional loads that our children carry today that we can’t perceive? Why does a child apologise to his mother for breaking her heart and to his father for not being able to live up to his expectations? It is time for collective introspection. Today, our priorities are skewed with every case that occurs; instead of compassion, we deal in sensation. An incident of this kind should shake the conscience of the entire community.
As parents and educators, we hold an enormous responsibility for the children who spend time in our care. How do we ensure emotional safety above academic excellence, pastoral care above discipline, mental health infrastructure above school structures? How do we identify distress in children? What we need today is systemic reform.
Suicide is a complex problem. For parents and educators, monitoring the thoughts and emotions of a child can be very challenging. It is essential to strengthen family-school partnerships and create circles of support, which will help solve complex mental health conditions. Even today, we do not have a national child safety and wellness framework, uniform protocols that focus on mental health emergencies and grievance
redressal. We need a culture where a child has a voice and feels seen and heard. Why are we not worried that our children can’t cope with anxiety, are unable to express and articulate their feelings? As parents and teachers, if we are not able to render basic skills that deal with a child’s health, happiness, sanity and survival, then whose interests are we serving?
The time for fault-finding is over. We must now ensure that no child feels alienated and unable to reach out to a parent, a friend, or a teacher. An act of suicide, particularly by a child, stems from being emotionally overwhelmed, not having the ability to see beyond the moment and being unable to solve a problem. Situational triggers can occur both at home and in school.
Children rarely plan for the future. The adolescent brain is wired for intensity rather than balance. The pressures of being a disappointment often close down help-seeking behaviour.
As a society, we are driven by aspiration and achievement, and our children are paying the price. It is no longer a school problem or a parent problem. It is a problem of societal apathy.
We have to create a new spirituality for our children, where an emotional anchor is more important than a report card and where we build a world where every child matters.
The writer is chairperson and executive director, Education, Innovations & Training, DLF Schools and Scholarship Programmes
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