Opinion This Father’s Day, a question: Why don’t men avail paternity leaves?

This tension plays out in workplaces across the world. A recent Bloomberg article underscores a truth many professionals know instinctively: The stigma around caregiving responsibilities still runs deep. Even in companies that champion inclusive policies on paper, implementation often lags behind. Paternity leaves may be offered, but they are quietly discouraged. Or worse, those who do avail them find themselves left out of key projects or passed over for promotions or other career advancements. The punishment isn’t always loud — but it’s real, and the consequences ripple outward.

Rethink caregiving

When men hesitate to take leave, caregiving remains disproportionately shouldered by women. This reinforces the idea that family responsibilities are a woman’s domain — and that leadership requires uninterrupted visibility and availability, typically associated with men. As long as this remains the default, women’s advancement will continue to be shaped by the so-called “motherhood penalty,” while men miss the opportunity to fully participate in early caregiving.

Policies, while important, are only the first step. Culture does the rest.

In many organisations, informal signals matter more than formal entitlements. If a manager makes a joking remark about someone “taking a vacation” when they go on paternity leave, the message is clear. If a colleague returns from leave to find themselves edged out of stretch roles or critical meetings, word spreads fast. Employees learn quickly what’s safe — and what’s not.

Equally important is how we frame parental responsibilities. Language like “primary” and “secondary” caregiver continues to reflect old assumptions. It casts one parent — usually the mother — as default, and the other as backup. Companies that want to build inclusive cultures must move beyond compliance and rethink how they talk about and support parenting roles.

Seniors should show the way

There’s also the role of visibility. Once senior leaders openly take parental leave — and don’t treat it as an indulgence — it permits others to do the same. Culture shifts when behaviour is modelled, not mandated. But if senior men quietly opt out of leave or shorten it to signal ambition, the stigma around caregiving stays intact.

Ironically, it is often high-performing, high-visibility professionals — those on leadership tracks — who feel they can least afford to take time off. Yet these are precisely the people whose choices carry weight. Boards and CEOs have a role to play here. When organisations reward caregiving with silence or subtle penalties, they reinforce the idea that real leaders don’t step away. That message must be challenged.

Normalising paternity

In the Indian context, the picture is mixed. Some companies have taken bold steps — Zomato offers 26 weeks of paternity leave, Wipro offers 90 days, while the central government grants 15. But uptake data is elusive, and likely underwhelming. In many cases, leaves exist on paper but aren’t widely used. Cultural norms, especially around masculinity and caregiving, continue to shape decisions in invisible ways.

Yet when paternity leave is normalised, the benefits are clear. Research consistently shows stronger family bonds, reduced maternal burnout, improved employee morale, and greater workplace productivity. Teams that feel supported tend to stay longer and perform better. It’s not just the right thing to do — it makes business sense.

What’s needed is a mindset shift — one that starts with leadership. A culture of trust, where employees don’t have to choose between family and ambition, requires more than good policy. It demands an environment where taking time to nurture your family is not a rejection of work, but a marker of responsible, balanced contribution to the social fabric.

Normalising paternity leave isn’t a “men’s issue” or a “workplace issue”. It’s about the kind of society we want to build — one where caregiving is shared, valued, and visible. Until we stop seeing parenting as a professional liability, and start recognising it as a shared human responsibility, equality at home and at work will remain out of reach.

The writer is a business leader and start-up investor, who headed both Crisil and ONI. She is the author of the forthcoming book Leadership Beyond the Playboo