So you were spying against your own country and you got caught. Gloomy times,eh? But have they given you access to a TV? If they have,watch news TV reportage on your spying. You will rediscover the innocent pleasure of laughing out loud.
Indo-Pak espionage,an age-old saga. Dont wonder why the title of CNN-IBNs spy special employed such a godawful cliché; thats news TV. The real entertainment is the content. Is betrayal of your own country simple,asked CNN-IBN,as its spy special began. We will never know the answer because immediately the story moved to an ex-spook who said,mystifyingly,that in espionage one word,said or unsaid,can tell you a whole lot of stories. You are laughing already,right? But pay attention. Because the next cut is to a James Bond movie clip. Whats Sean Connery doing in a story on Madhuri Gupta? Dont ask. But if you insist,heres CNN-IBNs explanation: Bond films of the 1970s and the 1980s showed how US-USSR espionage battles ruled the imagination. What? Yes,I know,but I did say,dont ask. Watch,instead. From Connery the story cuts to Indian and Pakistani PMs shaking hands,and the voiceover said for decades leaders in India and Pakistan,too,took clear sides. And those sides were? Dont ask. Concentrate on another expert who tells CNN-IBN intelligence agencies can offer money,women and wine as inducements. I could have said that. You could have said that. Why arent we on TV as intelligence experts? CNN-IBN wrapped up its special by telling us that it is obvious Indian officials posted in Pakistan are waiting to be tapped. Really? That seems to be a national security disaster and when that happens you must turn to Times Now.
And then there was India TV. Boyfriend ne kiya blackmail,India TV told us,summing up the Madhuri Gupta story. Pyaar ke liye gaddari and there was the boyfriend,a sketch of a man in red shirt,with the caption: Rana. And there was the girlfriend: a sketch of a woman holding a phone with a signboard behind her,carrying the legend,High Commissioner of India. Absolutely great stuff. And this is just the beginning. I am waiting for India TVs recreation of the whole story: how boyfriend met girlfriend,how love blossomed,how boyfriend blackmailed girlfriend.
It should be riveting,unless ISI reveals all details to Times Now.
saubhik.chakrabarti@expressindia.com
