Opinion It’s curtains for 2011…

B for Beti B

Amitabh Bachchan broke fresh ground in news dissemination when he announced his bahu Aishwarya’s pregnancy on Twitter. Papa Abhishek tweeted “It’s a girl” on November 16. In just a few hours of her arrival in this world,Beti B was trending. Talk about a superstar entry.

C for Chammak Challo

In a year where she was hailed for starring with the warring Khans,Salman and Shah Rukh,Queen Bee Kareena Kapoor’s biggest recall value was the red saree she draped for Chammak Challo. The song ended up as the saving grace of Ra.One too.

D for DK Bose

Delhi Belly’s DK Bose taught us how to sing our blues. Everybody had an opinion on the song. It affected Ra. One director Anubhav Sinha,so much that he dissed it publicly. But the song worked,even at Navratri parties. As for all those gentlemen who are named DK Bose,well,they have our sympathies.

E for Entertainment,Entertainment,Entertainment

Vidya Balan’s The Dirty Picture gave a banner headline for Hindi films when her character says,“Filmein sirf teen wajah se chalti hai: entertainment,entertainment,entertainment. Aur main (pause and wink) entertainment hoon.” The clap worthy dialogue apart,in the larger context “entertainment,entertainment,entertainment” was what was missing from 2011 releases.

F for Faltu

It was a hit,you know. So what if it was a remake of Hollywood film Accepted? It starred Jackky Bhagnani and was made by his daddy,Vashu. It was ace choreographer Remo’s directorial debut. They say the song made it a hit: Char baj gaye lekin party abhi baaki hai. So what if it is a lift from The Black Eyed Peas’ My Humps? It was a hit,you know. Show some respect.

G for Girl (on the telephone)

In a film called The Girl In Yellow Boots,it was the girl on the telephone who stole the show. Pooja Swaroop’s incessant chatter about the inanities of her life and her myriad expressions had us hooked. It didn’t matter that we never got to see or hear the person on the other side,this one-sided conversation worked very well.

H for Heroine

Technically,Heroine is a 2012 film but the level of noise Madhur Bhandarkar’s forthcoming film created this year was deafening. Here’s a recap: Kareena was Madhur’s first choice. She declined,as she wasn’t comfortable with a few scenes. Then Aishwarya stepped in and even shot for a few days. Then Big B announced her pregnancy and Bhandarkar stalled the shoot. Eventually Ash was replaced by Kareena and the film started again. Phew. Who said it’s easy being a Heroine?

I for Interval

Aamir Khan killed it while Salman Khan tried to,well,reinvent it. Aamir’s productions,Dhobi Ghaat and Delhi Belly released without an interval. In Ready,the interval was announced with Salman Khan urinating on a haystack,which was termed “pee break”.

J for Jacqueline Fernandes’ legs

That’s what film-maker Ram Gopal Varma confessed to love the most in Murder 2: “Jacqueline’s thighs”. Thunder Thighs once made famous by Sridevi got a new mascot in Jacquie.

K for Kiki

When Simi Garewal unleashed Kiki,on her show,Simi Selects India’s Most Desirable,the nation was treated to a trainwreck in the middle of its living room. As the supposed-to-be-19-but-sounding-like-a-5-year-old alter ego of Simi,Kiki was Simi going cuckoo. Bollywood frat boys displayed their best acting chops as they were treated to Kiki lovin’.

L for Lamppost

Ajay Devgn gave Bollywood a new weapon of mass destruction in Singham. Next time you are near a lamppost,look behind,Bajirao Singham might be on his way to uproot it.

M for Mantal

Zoya Akhtar’s Spanish sojourn,Zindagi Na Milegi Dobara gave us a new lexicon. The way the boys said “mantal” made us go mantal over them.

N for Nargis Fakhri

Imtiaz Ali found his Heer in the half Pakistani- half Czech model. The Rockstar beauty landed herself a much talked about debut. Equally talked about was her “mobile mouth”.

O for Ooi Amma

The Mawaali ditty was the inspiration for The Dirty Picture chartbuster Ooh la la la tu hai meri fantasy. Bappi Lahiri composed the original Jeetendra- Jaya Prada number and sang the new. The tune and the beat is an exact replica of the Kishore-Asha duet including the ah-has. The lyrics were more out there: Ooi amma ooi amma mushkil yeh kya ho gayi/ Tere badan mein toofan utha toh saari hawa ho gayi.

P for Potty

Faeces,faeces everywhere. The lyrics of the remixed Dum Maaro Dum by Jaideep Sahni made us dance to ‘Potty pe baithe nanga’. Delhi Belly turned shit into a big hit. In Aarakshan,Saif Ali Khan took up a cause and said,“Yahan tak ki aapki tatti bhi sar par dhoyi hai humne.”

Q for Quarter Vodka

Or Kwaaaaterrrrr Vodka,Kangna Ranaut style. The actress continued to be a pronunciation Nazi’s delight in Tanu Weds Manu. By the way,she also murdered words like “Hormones,Testosterone,Oestrogen” but who’s keeping a count? Except our ears,that is.

R for Rockstar Kapoor

Ranbir’s flawless performance in Rockstar reiterated that he deserves every bit of his hype. He is our most special leading man. Period.

S for Surrogacy

Aamir Khan and Kiran Rao’s IVF- surrogacy for the birth of their newborn son,Azad,turned out to be the year’s best-kept secret. Maybe it’s inevitable that a mention of Aamir leads us to think of his old friend Amole Gupte. The Taare Zameen Par writer’s film Stanley Ka Dabba tugged at the heartstrings,as did the performance of his son Partho.

T for Trigeminal Neuralgia

The nerve disorder came into national consciousness after it was revealed that Salman Khan was suffering from it.The actor went through an eight-hour gamma knife surgery on the very day Bodyguard released.

U for Unlimited Promotions

Also unthinkable. The publicity blitz for Ra.One started nine months before its release. Shah Rukh went everywhere,did everything,sold whatever he could to ensure his film got top of mind awareness. For the audio launch of The Dirty Picture,Vidya Balan danced in a mall in an apsara costume.

V for Vidya Balan

She rocked,she shocked and she wowed us in The Dirty Picture and also made us cry with her in No One Killed Jessica. This will go down as the year of Vidya Balan. And her cleavage.

W for WTF

The WTF Moment of the year goes to the climax of Mausam. We never saw it coming. Neither the white horse nor the Ferris Wheel not the kid on top of it. And seriously,do they still show paralysis being cured by a heroic deed? WTF. As for the WTF dialogue,it has to be the one in Ready with Salman saying,“Main kutta hoon,yeh meri kuttiya.”

X for X

For (e)x lovers,it was a 50/50 year. John Abraham and Bipasha Basu are definitely not friends after their break up but Salman Khan and Katrina Kaif took the higher road and signed Ek Tha Tiger after their break up.

Y for Y Films

Yash Raj Films’ new division for youth-centric films,Y Films ensures that the under-25 age group of cine-goers gets their kind of content. Love Ka The End didn’t work but Mujhse Fraaandship Karoge clicked.

Z for Zindagi

Zindagi jab mayoos hoti hai tabhi mehsoos hoti hai. Silk said it while Zoya Akhtar showed it in Zindagi Na Milegi Dobara. Life as we know it was saluted.