Every morning,I have struggled with clothes,because I have never been able to convince myself that my old favourites are now a size too small,and that it is time to let them go. In the belief that I will eventually shed a few pounds,I have kept them all. Every time I open my wardrobe,they simply disgorge and settle into a happy pile.
It is never easy when even your very own call you fat. Thoughts of looking beautiful seem so far away when they say anorexic models are the epitome of beauty. Size zero,I am told,is what the stars aim for. If thats the case,what can a lesser,fatter mortal do about it?
The Dirty Picture may not have announced a return to the era of abundant women when Sridevi,Jaya Prada,Divya Bharati and others set the screens on fire but hope has been shining brightly ever since its first day-first show. Even the winter grey hasnt been able to overcome the good cheer.
The idea that the film may question,and hopefully change,the general mindset on beauty is gratifying. It gives plus size women an advantage over those marketing anorexia. And I am sure there are many who think like me.
The jeans that are now a tight fit are back in the wardrobe. And why shouldnt they be? Even in a drunken stupor,Vidya Balan got into her jeans never mind the protruding belly to be a picture of glam and confidence. That is all a plus size woman needs.
Losing pounds may be a long battle but it is the undying confidence that made Balan look sensuous in spite of her weight. The Dirty Picture is what plus size women have been waiting for,that elusive booster shot to restore ones confidence.
Because waking up to TV shots of Deepika Padukone has never helped. She fits what they call the idea of a desirable figure. Or Kareena Kapoor,when size zero became a rage. The beauties of the world,they said,are made of decreasing waistlines. Enough cause for distress to women like me.
With no star I could relate to,I had been turning to TV channels from the deep south for some comfort. There,fulsome is still handsome and the well-endowed still pull in crowds.
But I dont need to switch channels anymore. Vidya Balan has done me a huge favour. I now know that I am the proud owner of a figure that can give anyone in Tollywood or Kollywood a run for the money. And that I no longer need to look hard for my size in Bollywood.
The Dirty Picture has made me realise that being fat is no commentary,no reflection on what I can be. That in the fat folds lies much potential. It has made me happy to be what I am. Goodbye anorexia,hello,old me. And if you dont believe me,check with Vidya Balan.
pragya.kaushika@expressindia.com
