Why can women not demand equality in relationships I am a big fan of women. In fact,I love women. I love being a woman. Heck,some of my best friends are women. But there are days I look at us as a gender and I think I would like to check out given the fact that at heart,I suspect,we dont really like ourselves. The cliche of being our own worst enemies is sadly true. We have made huge strides,great progress in our professional lives. We have become CEOs,tiger moms and brilliant wives. We know we are superwomen and reward ourselves with praise and occasional,but well-deserved,breaks. Its a great time to be a woman. Except for this annoying tendency to sabotage our progress with this particular dance of one step forward and two steps back. Look at women in relationships. We almost beg to be the subservient one. Subconsciously,and in the name of womanhood. For a moment,let us forget about Charles Saatchi and Nigella Lawson and what it implies of womenkind as a whole. If the domestic goddess cannot stand up for her rights and prefers to stay mum,then it is a matter of shame. Let us turn our attention to the lovely story of Pakistani cricketer Wasim Akram finding love again. The bowler lost his first wife to cancer in 2009 and was utterly devastated. However,he got a second change when he met 30-year-old PR consultant Shaniera Thompson. It seems he went down on one knee and proposed because she was an old-fashioned kind of girl who didnt want a big scene. According to newspaper reports,the Australian insisted she would prefer it to be at home or somewhere private. In a recent interview to a Mumbai-based paper,Akram says,We were in Pakistan and I had got the decision endorsed by my family,so I decided to propose to her on bended knees. She was amused and we had a good laugh. She asked me to take permission from her father,so I called him and he was kind enough to back us. As the world applauds this proposal,I am horrified. It amazes me that a modern woman would endorse such a regressive step at the start of a new relationship. This from a person working in the aggressive and assertive field of PR. I am willing to bet Ms Thompson is no shrinking violet. In fact,I am fairly certain she didnt ask for her fathers permission to get into a relationship with Mr Akram. I am willing to put money on the fact that she didnt take his consent when the levels of intimacy were upped. So why at the time of her marriage does she feel the need to adopt this submissive manner? As if she is an object owned by her father who can,at will,give her away to another man. Hand in marriage? Going down of one knee? Being asked? What century do we live in? Have I missed something important here? Are we living in an episode of Game of Thrones where matrimonial alliances are made through the whim of a patriarch? Where women are irrelevant and exist only as daughters or wives? Forgive me for taking such a strong stand,but I thought everything about this was rude. Prehistoric. I am a romantic person like any other woman. But my idea of romance means equality. Not compliance. I would think its incredibly loving to be in a relationship where we decide jointly to get married. Whats this business of waiting for him to ask when he is ready? It then means you arent seen as an even match. From the very onset you are waiting for the man to take the lead as if you are the weaker sex. Is that what you want? Why do women insult themselves by voluntarily taking the backseat in a relationship? All in the name of romance. Imagine an alternate universe where all decisions were made jointly. The decision to be together,to make it legal,to have children. There is no politer,saner way to live than mutual respect. I am not asking you to kill your dreams. Romance has its place. But why must your happy ending have a knight in shining armour on his white stead charging in to rescue you. Whats wrong with both of you saddling up together? *The former editor-in-chief of ELLE is currently working on a beauty project for Godrej Consumer Products Ltd
