We have banished death

In ancient China, the rituals of filial piety required the eldest son to participate symbolically in his parents8217; death; he had to withdraw from the family home and live in a hut, sleep on the ground with a clod of earth for a pillow, maintain strict silence and starve himself into a state of weakness. I was reminded of these rites during the weeks of my mother8217;s slow dying. I did not live in a hut, but in some curious way I retreated to the periphery of my life, putting off the simplest tasks, reluctant to see friends and feeling my own vitality ebbing away 8211; as if compelled to share her miserable suspension between life and death.

At Christmas she was still able to enjoy a conversation and follow a television programme; a fortnight later she was diagnosed with Alzheimer8217;s disease, which progressed with a rapidity that, I was told, was very unusual8230; When I visited, she often failed to recognise me; at other times, she gazed at me with dull indifference and told me repeatedly to go home8230; Thirteen years ago, when in good health, she had made a living will, which stated that, when the time came, she did not wish her life to be prolonged artificially8230;She had done everything she could to die with as much dignity as possible. But her mental powers had so declined that the person that she was had already died8230;

My poor mother was stuck: she could not go back, but she could not move forward either8230;I did not expect the doctors to administer a lethal injection. All she needed was a strong sedative to give her some rest and teach her body to surrender. But for some inexplicable reason this was not allowed8230; We have banished death, a disturbing reminder of our ultimate impotence, from modern society8230;We are not good at calling a halt to our technological expertise, even when it is in our interests to do so8230; Because they can cure so many diseases, our medical personnel feel obliged to do so at all times. Their passion to save life is wonderful but not always appropriate. To condemn my mother to a living death against her will would have been an act of cruelty8230;

The writer is the author of 8216;The Great Transformation8217;. This was excerpted from a comment in the Guardian of March 25