Storm alert: Hurricanes Uma, Sushma raging

Atal Papaji: Shaant ho jao, Uma beti, calm down, calm down.

Chhoti Sushma (running in with her little pigtails flying): What is that Uma telling you, Daddyji? She is so full of spite, she should be punished (for added emphasis, she tossed her pigtails).

Atal Papaji: Shaant ho jao, Sushma beti, calm down, calm down.

Chhoti Uma: I was the first to threaten to go on sanyas if Sonia should become prime minister, and that Sushma goes and does the same.

Chhoti Sushma: I said it first. I said it first. Ask anyone. I said I’d shave my head, sleep on the floor and eat boiled chana if Sonia became prime minister, and all the TV channels were running after me and showing photos of what I would look like without my hair. No one bothered about your sanyas. So there!

Chhoti Uma: Look at her, Daddyji, she is lying. It was my idea and she stole it. Then when I decided to take out a Tiranga Yatra, she immediately goes and does a satyagraha in the Andamans. This is shameless behaviour, Daddyji, and tell her not to lie.

Atal Papaji: Shaant ho jao, betiyon, both of you calm down. You are both my daughters. The Parivar loves you both equally.

Chhoti Sushma (snorting in disdain): Venkaiah bhaiya is on my side, and Pramod bhaiya is on my side, and Murli Manohar Joshi tauji is on my side. They all came with me to the Andamans. Nobody bothered about your yatra. Yee, yee, yee, yee (she wagged her little thumb at Chhoti Uma).

Chhoti Uma (now really hurt, she bawled her guts out): Daddyji, Daddyji, listen to what she is saying.

Atal Papaji: Shaant ho jao, Uma beti, shaant ho jao. Don’t cry. Dry your tears. I will come to Jallianwala Bagh and participate in your rally, alright?

Chhoti Uma (at once perking up and wagging her little thumb at Chhoti Sushma): Yee, yee, yee, yee. I’ve got Daddyji on my side, I’ve got Daddyji on my side. And Arun bhaiya is on my side, and Modi bhaiya is on my side, and Ananth bhaiya is on my side.

Chhoti Sushma (throwing a right royal tantrum, she flung herself full length on the floor, hitting her head against it): That’s not fair, Daddyji, you are being partial to Uma. If you go to Amritsar, I’ll do a satyagraha in protest, like Savarkar did.

Chhoti Uma: It’s not Sarvarkar who did satyagraha, silly, it’s Gandhiji. And I’m Gandhiji and I’m taking the Tiranga to Jallianwala Bagh, not you. Yee, yee, yee, yee.

Atal Papaji: Don’t cry, Sushma beti, if you wipe your tears and get up from the floor, I’ll tell Lal Kishan tauji to take you for a Bharat Uday ride.

Chhoti Sushma (immediately consoled): Yee, yee, yee, yee, Lal Kishan tauji is on my side, Lal Kishan tauji is on my side.

Chhoti Uma got so riled at this that she picked up her little Tricolour and used it as a stick to beat Chhoti Sushma. Chhoti Sushma, not to be undone, picked up her replica of the Savarkar plaque and hit Chhoti Uma on the head with it. Chhoti Uma retaliated by pulling Chhoti Sushma’s pigtails, and Chhoti Sushma rushed to stamp on Chhoti Uma’s Barbie doll. Howls and sobs and yelps punctured the pungent parivar air even as Atal Papaji shook his head and beat his forehead in despair. Clearly, there were stormy days ahead.