Queue Kyun?

I have this irrational fear of queues, and certainly this has nothing to do with the clumsy and peculiar way this word is spelt. Could not they have made do with a simple 8216;que8217; or better still 8216;qu8217;? In the beginning there were no queues. Waiting in a line was not the modus operandi when life was conceived. Millions of spermatozoa shove and push their way around and only one gets to fertilise the ovum. In multiple pregnancies, the gentle jostling goes on well into the eighth month. Thereafter, the babies arrange themselves in an orderly fashion and come out in perfect sequence. Some obstetricians aver that these angry newborns yell and scream more, perhaps in protest.

Then there are the long queues at vaccinations and the doctor8217;s offices. The cavalcades at railway stations and bus stops come on much later, and why is it that your line always moves slower than the others8217;? Should you wish to unwind and call up a friend, a metallic voice greets you and informs you that you 8216;are in call waiting8217;. No go there either!

Surely there are no hassles when you wish to commune with the Almighty? Think again! The queues at holy shrines are so impossible now, that it would take you the better part of a day, to have a 15 second darshan, unless of course you happen to be a VIP or an MP. Uncanny how these worthies will go on to swear that they always stand by the man at the end of the queue.

Our former rulers, the Brits, never refrained from taking a dig, saying that our aversion for orderly single files stemmed from an innate lack of discipline. An irate Indian wag once shot back that perhaps in their homeland even lemmings waited for their turns to jump off the cliffs.

No matter how much we despise queues, I should think that they have been with us since ancient Egypt or was it the Indus valley? and in all likelihood, will be with us even in future eras of inter-galactic travel.