Prolonged torture

Actor Raju Shreshtha (Master Raju) wears a burqa because he’s impersonating a woman in a Net chat. Johnny Lever’s talent is smothered like never before. He looks and sounds ridiculous as a professor who doesn’t know the basics of technology. Anupam Kher plays a "hardened armyman" who bursts into tears on hearing Kunal’s sob story. And all those train journeys originating from Bandra Station make you think that the Western Railway PRO couldn’t have promoted it better.

Because no other word’s been invented yet, you are forced to call those appalling noises in Dil Hi Dil Mein music. You click your tongue in sympathy for audiences who have made A R Rahman their god, because that’s what prompts him to pass anything off under the name of experimentation. Mehboob can only give what he is capable of: `E-mail se love letter goriya, sagar ke liye fishing net, pyar ke liye Internet’. That’s what you get for encouraging `Telephone dhun mein hansne wali!’ Throw the music out through the window and watch the flowers wilt.

— Bella Jaisinghani