Parroting the lines

The customer is king, we are told. There are the feel-good aphorisms on shop shelves: 8216;Our greatest asset is the customer8217;, 8216;Treat each customer as if he is the only we have!8217; Or this one that I saw in a sports shop: 8216;Being on par in terms of price and quality only gets into the game. Service wins the game8217;. On a bank manager8217;s table, the plaque said: 8216;I may not have the answer, but I will find it. I may not have the time, but I will make it8217;.

Great words. But our varied experiences as customers do not assure us that we are are indeed kings. It is becoming increasingly difficult to draw attention at bank counters or in the post office. As for the promise of service with a smile, just forget it. In fact, human contact is becoming a thing of the past. You call an airline for assistance. A recorded voice shoots instructions: press one for flight departures, press two for delays, press three for reservations. Any query beyond these three categories is not entertained. When you call a customer service number, a voice informs you that you are in queue, and that you are very valuable to them. And then, suddenly, after a wait of 20 minutes, the line gets cut.

All this is not unique to India, of course. Last month I walked into a stylish New York store. A saleswoman asked if she could help. 8220;I am just browsing,8221; I said. She shot back,8221;This is not a museum, as you can see.8221; But the most unusual experience we8217;ve had was in Frankfurt. We stepped into a shoe store and heard a voice that said, 8220;You are welcome to the store.8221; There was nobody around. We were astonished to discover that it was a parrot that had greeted us. The old saleswoman was lunching in one corner of the room.

A psychologist friend gave me some useful advice. He said we all expect good service but are unwilling to make an effort to get it. You need to stretch out, reach out to people who are supposed to serve you; make friends, greet them warmly, and be nice to them.

It does work sometimes, and I get excellent service. But how does one make friends with a parrot?