Kraftwerk

The Dow Jones Industrial Average is best pictured as an exclusive, slightly snotty club, populated mainly by entities that have been Names since 1800-something, and from which you aren8217;t thrown out except by death or bankruptcy. This week 29 of them must have tut-tutted to each other in well-bred manner as the secretary, Mr Dow Jones 8212; let8217;s imagine him as wearing a bowler hat and speaking in a slightly Australian accent 8212; informed the members gravely that the 30th had suffered Unfortunate Reversals while Speculating in Property, and was now unavoidably detained at the government8217;s pleasure. And to replace the American International Group, proud insurer of fortunes and sponsor of soccer divers 8212; please welcome Kraft Foods.

A food processing company. How infra dig. Admittedly, food processing accounts for 13.3 per cent of America8217;s manufacturing output, but is it really industry? Come on, that8217;s baloney. Manufactured in the Midwest by Oscar Mayer, owned by Kraft Foods, Inc. There aren8217;t any other food processing companies 8212; unless one counts McDonalds, which, as any Frenchman will tell you, isn8217;t really food, and, if it is, isn8217;t sufficiently processed.

The Dow8217;s not a wonderful index. In fact, it8217;s pretty bad. It8217;s price-weighted, which means decreases and increases are not properly accounted for; relative sizes are not really accounted for either. And, of course, in a set of only 30, there8217;s even more arbitrariness than in most such selections. But still, here it8217;s shown itself on the ball. Kraft Singles are the prized food of the unemployed in the United States, eaten as they can be in solitary cheesy splendour straight out of the packet; and there are a lot of freshly unemployed people following the Dow. So, let8217;s hear it for the Dow Jones and the happy dairymen of Northfield, Illinois who8217;re toasting James L. Kraft with steins of Kool-Aid copyright, Kraft, Inc. right about now.