India Shivering in Shakedown Street

Navjot Sidhu likes to speak in riddles. He delivers his punchline and moves onto the next, while you8217;re still wondering what hit you. ...

Navjot Sidhu likes to speak in riddles. He delivers his punchline and moves onto the next, while you8217;re still wondering what hit you. 8216;8216;Politics is like a barber8217;s chair,8217;8217; he remarked the other day, leading you to wonder what he knew about either, seeing he8217;s a cricketer-commentator who8217;s never cut his hair. 8216;8216;Politics is like a barber8217;s chair 8212; it will fit anyone.8217;8217;NDTV 24X7.

You could say that of the BJP. In the last week, an assortment of people have comfortably occupied the same chairs at BJP headquarters. Each day Venkaiah Naidu displays these new members rather like Tom: he puts in his thumb and pulls out a plum with a look that says, 8216;8216;What a good boy am I8217;8217;. Since these are no ordinary plums but plum Personalities, and since the media luuvves Personalities more than any other fruit, these are yummy camera opportunities.You see how BJP values the media. It has realised that the simple act of parading yesterday8217;s or today8217;s stars and odd politician is enough to transfix TV cameras, so why bother with anything more substantive?

Frankly, it was tiresome to watch in order of appearance, Maneka and Varun, Navjot Singh Sidhu, Jeetendra, Suresh Oberoi, Gajendra Chauhan, Hema Malini, swear allegiance to PM Vajpayee the way Congressmen do to the Gandhi family.

The Gandhi sop opera is becoming juicier every week. There8217;s an embattled Sonia as the head of the family business the Congress Party, stupid, fighting to preserve the family fortunes; there8217;s the rival parivar BJP, stupid all set to usurp her family silver. The story has now rushed forward 20 years: Sonia8217;s two children enter the fray but first Rahul and Priyanka yatra to Vaishno Devi a must for a successful soap. The twist in the tale? Maneka the bad bahu? betrays the Gandhi8217;s by joining the enemy. Her son, Varun is caught betwixt love of his mother and loyalty to his 8216;8216;badi maa8217;8217; 8212; not Tulsi but 8216;8216;Tai8217;8217;. What next?

If it were a TV serial, a number of lightning confrontations, the kind which electrocute the characters. In Karishma8230; The Miracles of Destiny Sahara, one such striking moment has occurred: Karisma Kapoor confronts Karisma Kapoor as granny Devyani meets grand-daughter Avni. The stare they exchange says 8212; haven8217;t I seen you somewhere before? Sure, in the mirror! If you possess a little patience, Karishma8230; is worth your while. It is extremely well shot, it has a plot, well-defined characters and praise be the box, a story. It has a beginning, a middle and hopefully, an end. Most serials have a new beginning every week.

Aaj Tak8217;s JBC doesn8217;t know whether it is coming or going and no idea where it8217;s headed. A satirical take-off on the news, ends up as a sad caricature of Javed Jaffri. The versatile comic actor doesn8217;t deserve to waste his talents on slapstick humour which requires him smack himself on the cheek. Or tell Mr DVD c8217;mon to make his next film about Fertiliser No.1. Manure is good for the land, but poor fodder for a successful TV show. Unless it8217;s Krishi Darshan.

For our TV news channels there was only one Marathon Man in Mumbai8217;s race last Sunday. Anil Ambani. Apologies to the thousands we saw, fleetingly, whiz past half of the latest Time magazine cover.

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Janet Jackson might like to make her next appearance on CARE TV. It permits B038;B figure it out for yourselves and revolving door exposes of the entire naked female form. Also, it deals with X-rated parts of the human anatomy and provides useful tips on how best to utilise them in, er8230; human intercourse: 8216;8216;eat fruits8230; be cheerful8230;8217;8217;

Lastly, what exactly is the purpose of Sahara Samay8217;s reality show, Dard Ka Rishta? It was painful to watch a family8217;s linen soiled in public. Neha and Nitin, confront their parents who, apparently, they haven8217;t seen in the last six years. Nitin is frighteningly silent throughout while Neha and their parents war on camera. 8216;8216;My father never gave any love8230; you are parents who cannot give what I want8230; what kind of mother are you?8230;8217;8217; If the aim was to bring a family together, it drew them further apart.