Greatest feat also saddest

The Olympics, for me, is a selection of memories. Olympics is the Oscar of sports and three of its editions 8212; Moscow, Los Angeles and S...

The Olympics, for me, is a selection of memories. Olympics is the Oscar of sports and three of its editions 8212; Moscow, Los Angeles and Seoul 8212; gave me fame, money, confidence and also brickbats.

Maybe it8217;s unique that a sportsperson8217;s greatest achievement in her life turned out to be the saddest moment too, when I missed the bronze medal by one by hundredth of a second in the 400-metre hurdles at the Los Angeles Olympics. But I will come to that later.

When I boarded the plane for Moscow in 1980, I was just a 16-year-old girl and it was my first flight. I don8217;t mind saying that the big stadia, huge muscular men and women, superb synthetic tracks and even the overawed me completely. The 100 and 200 metre sprints, with superior quality spikes, made my head heavy, though I never finished last. Confidence was my net gain in Moscow.

Then came Los Angeles. It is the dream of every sportsperson to win an Olympics medal. But to make out what an athlete who misses that medal by a fraction of a second feels, you have to be P T Usha. It maybe true that nowhere in the world people have talked and written more about a fourth-place finisher in Olympics, but my disappointment will never die down.

I was the first Indian woman to reach a final at Olympics and my best performance in the 400m hurdles 55.42 secs came there. But the sad memories still haunt me.

Unlike the present times, I was never given the much-needed exposure trips. Seeing video cassettes, I feel that a lunge or just sticking out my head could have fetched me the bronze. For that you need to have tough competitions at least at the Asian level. But I was not even getting the nationals properly.

At Los Angeles, when all others including the hockey players let India down, the spotlight was on me. Pressure started mounting. When the starter called us back on the first occasion, I felt really sad as I had a better beginning than I would the second time. The rest, as they say, is history.

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In India, when an athlete is winning, he or she is hailed as India8217;s property. But when she sustains an injury, she is dubbed as another 8216;unlucky athlete8217;. When seen against the backdrop that India have poor facilities and also that I myself suffered much due to the worst financial constraints, mine is no mean achievement. But when I performed below par due to injury at the Seoul Olympics, I was criticised.

It hurt me. Especially when it remains a fact that I was hesitant to go to South Korea with an injured knee. But I went and participated in the 4215;400 relay, but the team ended up with a pathetic show.

8212; As told to N Ganesh