Googly reactions

When Bal Thackeray thundered on Dassara day that he would not allow the one-day cricket match against Pakistan to be played in Mumbai, pe...

When Bal Thackeray thundered on Dassara day that he would not allow the one-day cricket match against Pakistan to be played in Mumbai, people showed mixed reactions. Because of this, one daily from Bombay employed MARG to conduct a survey, which revealed that 58 per cent of the people wanted the match, 38 per cent were against it and 4 per cent of the Bombayites surveyed preferred to remain neutral. Of course, not like the neutral8217; umpires of Sri Lanka who declared 3 L.B.W.s in just 3 balls at Sharjah, to create a new hat-trick of L.B.W.s 8211; a unique umpiring feat. However, few Puneites are aware that here too there is a market research organisation called 8220;SWARG8221; along the lines of MARG8217;.

For your information SWARG8217; is the short form of Survey What Appears Real amp; Genuine8217; and is noted for conducting accurate surveys. I myself work for SWARG8217; although I have still not become Swargawasi as yet, but I got a heavenly opportunity, when our director instructed me to conduct a rapid survey on the Indo-Pak cricket matches. I was given only six hours to conduct the said survey, and was advised by the director not to contact more than five persons and expedite the report by evening. I am very happy to disclose the results of the SWARG8217; survey, which will surely shock readers not only from across India, but from Pakistan as well.

The first person I interviewed was a collegian, who incidentally happened to be a cricket player herself and a member of the girls cricket team of her college. 8220;Do you support Thackeray8217;s call for the boycott of the cricket matches with Pakistan?8221; I asked her? By all means yes! She replied emphatically, and that surprised me no end. Was she a member of Shiv Sena, I asked her politely, 8220;oh no,8221; she immediately frowned, 8220;our objection is only because Pakistan is not inviting the Indian women8217;s cricket team to tour their country, and giving us a chance to win against their women cricketers to avenge our men8217;s continuous defeats for last six years.8221;

I applauded her novel protest and thanked her before going to meet the next person on the SWARG8217; list. He was a peon in a Government office, but not much enlightened about cricket. When pressed for his views, he replied, 8220;We should not play with Pakistan for another five years, till their victorious captain Ibrahim Khan retires from cricket.8221; I shrewdly guessed that he had confused Imran Khan with Ibrahim Khan, and thanked him for his honest views on Indo-Pak cricket matches. I too prayed that Imran Khan retires and once again we start winning.

The third person I interviewed was a middle class housewife who was kind enough to offer me a cup of tea when I asked her whether she too supported Bal Thackeray8217;s call. She promptly replied, 8220;Yes, very much.8221; She denied that she was a fan of Bal Thackeray or Shiv Sena as she observed that I was very much jolted. She indeed gave me a very amusing explanation. Her son had spent a lot of money on crackers, which he and his friends wanted to explode during Indo-Pak matches, whenever his idol Sachin Tendulkar would hit a boundary or a sixer. 8220;I am very very thankful to Thackeray for stopping the Pakistan tour so that our son would use the same crackers for Diwali festival thereby saving us lot of expenditure.8221;

The fourth gentleman was a factory manager in the industrial area of Pimpri-Chinchwad who welcomed me with a broad smile. When I repeated my question, he pondered a while and told me in confidence that he was grateful to Thackeray for stopping the cricket matches. 8220;Please understand our problem,8221; he continued further, 8220;we have already lost on production in the last 10 days because of Indo-pak matches at Sharjah. Had the Pakistan team been playing now in India, we would have lost the production to a great extent and lost our business especially on the eve of Diwali. Please don8217;t tell this to anybody in our factory,8221; he pleaded with me, I asked him not to worry and left the place in a hurry.

And now, I came to the conclusion that there was really no point in contacting the fifth person for the SWARG8217; survey and filed the report to my director. I am afraid that director of the SWARG8217; may not publish my findings, as I have just now received a letter that SWARG8217; is no more interested in my services, leaving me in a confusion which marg I should follow now. I feel it pays to remain down to earth!