Flattering to deceive

But it is an art, nevertheless

The Chamber8217;s dictionary defines 8216;flattery8217;, thus: 8220;To treat with insincere praise in order to gain advantage.8221; Flattery must therefore be a useful tool to have. It is not easy to flatter, however simple it might seem. You need to develop special skills to achieve the desired result. The first rule is to ensure that the receiver does not perceive it as such. A superficial kind of flattery cannot deliver long-term results. Flattery needs to be sustained over a period of time. You need to plan a strategy that is best suited to the recipient8217;s aspirations.

What really flatters a man is that you think he is worth flattering. I have seen some skilful exponents of flattery. They will never flatter a group of people, because they could end up pleasing none. And if they flatter only one or two, they affront the rest. The experts know exactly in whose presence the receiver would like to be flattered. It is important to know what to say and how to say it. You must also allow some time to lapse between sessions of flattery. It is like gold 8212; its value lies in its scarcity.

Also flattery works best with some people, especially those in power. Politicians are most frequently flattered. However, because they are so often the focus of it, flattering them may not yield the right dividends. The captains of the industry are already convinced about their abilities. A friend discovered an ingenious way of flattering corporate titans. He would tell them, 8220;You work too hard; you have no time for anything else but work; you spend too much money; you are misunderstood and you are different from anyone else in the industry!8221; None of this is necessarily complimentary but it will flatter the subject infinitely more than merely being informed that he is brilliant. Another thing that delights a CEO is when you seek his advice on a personal matter. He enjoys the idea of doing social work.

Ministers and senior government officials need to be flattered by senior people in the private sector. This makes them feel that their talent is being publicly acknowledged. But flattery does not work at the lower levels of government. The needs of junior public servants go beyond mere words!

Some do not approve of flattery. Recently, a CEO confided, 8220;I hate careless flattery, the kind that exhausts you in your effort to believe it.8221; As Adlai Stevenson once said, 8220;Flattery is all right so long as you don8217;t inhale!8221;