Fiction / Staying happy

Having occupied the only empty seat in the bus, Amita discovered that the lady sitting beside her was Chhanda. They had always avoided ea...

Having occupied the only empty seat in the bus, Amita discovered that the lady sitting beside her was Chhanda. They had always avoided each other, though there had never been a tiff. They belonged to the same social circuit, so often ran into each other at a Satyajit Ray film or at a Tagore play. But both pretended to be absent-minded and avoided each other8217;s eyes. But now, it was difficult. Both hesitated to break the ice. Amita carried a number of packets and pretended to be busy managing those. Then Chhanda said, 8220;Amita, isn8217;t it you?8221;

Pretending surprise, Amita said 8220;Chhanda! Where8217;ve you been so long? Left the city or what?8221; As if she had been looking for Chhanda, whom she had seen at a Ravi Shankar function barely a month ago. 8220;Yes, of course,8221; Chhanda replied, 8220;You8217;ve become a rare sight these days.8221;

Both were reasonably good looking. Married for about eight years. Happily, Amita was fumbling with her packets, so Chhanda helped out by holding a couple of those. 8220;Done a lot of shopping,8221; she remarked. 8220;Some stuff for my husband,8221; said Amita. 8220;Then bought a sari on an impulse.8221;

Chhanda wanted to look at the sari, as all women do, but restrained herself. Instead, she asked, 8220;Where8217;re you off to?8217;

8220;Pick up my daughter from school. A daily grind.8221;

8220;How many kids?8221;

8220;A son and a daughter. The boy doesn8217;t go to school yet. Luckily.8221;

Then Chhanda asked 8220;How many kids have you got?8221;

Amita laughed, 8220;No such problem yet.8221; Her laughter was hollow.

Chhanda understood this, but rubbed it in,8220; You8217;re a free bird then. We can8217;t move about freely because of the kids.8221;. Amita turned her face away. They fell silent.

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When the conductor came, there was a tussle over who would buy the tickets. Amita won out and paid the conductor. Then she said,Why did you insist on paying?8217; Can8217;t I buy your ticket for once? Remember, you never let me pay when we went to college together?8221; Chhanda looked at her. Amita stiffened. Perhaps it was a mistake to mention the old times. Is Chhanda still harbouring the old grudge?

8220;Do you remember TKB, our philosophy teacher?8221; Chhanda asked. 8220;Tarun Kanti Bannerjee. Of course I do. he was so good looking.8221;

8220;He is in the same apartment house as us.8221;

8220;Still good looking?8221; 8220;Aged a little, but yes still so. We all were mad about him in the college.8221; 8220;We? It was you. But then you were mad about so many others,8221; Chhanda jabbed at her again. Amita swallowed it quietly. She looked away. A smile appeared briefly on her lips. It wasn8217;t clear whether it was a smile of defeat or disdain.

Amita and Chhanda used to be neighbours, bosom friends and college mates. An inseparable pair eight years ago. But a single episode had changed everything. Amita felt more at unease, unable to look Chhanda in the eye. 1But Chhanda8217;s stare seemed to be piercing her.

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They made some more routine inquiries about each other, in a cold, detached way. Then Chhanda got up. Her stop was close. Suddenly, out of context, she asked, 8220;Amita, are you happy.8221; Slightly startled, Amita replied, 8220;Yes, of course. Why shouldn8217;t I be?8221; 8220;Believe me, I want you to be happy, No use thinking about bygones. I have forgotten everything. Life has changed,8221; said Chhanda 8220;How about you?8221; asked Amita.

8220;I am happy too.8221; 8220;You8217;re right. Bygones mean nothing,8221; said Amita. They invited each other to their respective houses. Then Chhanda got off the bus and started walking, lost in thoughts.

Amita had some more distance to go. She knew very well that Chhanda would never visit her house. Nor did she want her to. She might come face-to-face with Tapas, if she did.

Tapas, originally, was Chhanda8217;s boy friend. A young engineer, he was handsome and full of life. Their marriage was a foregone conclusion. Then one rainy evening, Tapas showed up in Amita8217;s house. He looked distraught. 8220;There8217;s something I must tell you,8221; he said, I can8217;t suppress it any more.8221; Amita was a little frightened, but let him continue. 8220;I don8217;t love Chhanda. I love you. She is a good girl, I respect her. But with you it was love at first sight8230;8221;

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Amita argued, objected, wept. But Tapas had a persuasive manner. Gradually, she softened. After all, no one had tempted Tapas. he had come to her on his own, they were married within a week.

Amita got off the bus and walked home. While unlocking the door, her eyes suddenly moistened, as they did so often. No Chhanda mustn8217;t come here. SHe mustn8217;t see Tapas ever again. She should never know that Tapas could not love any woman for long. He had never mentioned Chhanda to Amita, but he had been involved with so many other women. He had caused scandals. he failed to give her a child. He had nothing for wife or home. All the money he made he blew up in gambling and alcohol.

Amita stood alone in the house. Chhanda had pinched her several times. She didn8217;t retaliate, for she knew she had given Chhanda a much bigger blow. Chhanda would never know the real Tapas. She would always imagine Amita was happily married to him. And she would suffer silently. Forever.