Tags:
Journalism of Courage
The most powerful man in the world, George W. Bush, president of the USA, the only superpower in the world, had a great week. This is what he had to say about it8230;
Laura liked that bit 8217;bout Osama, sorry Saddam, when ah spoke there at that big place 8212; whatdya call it? 8212; yeah, the NU, sorry UN. Really tore inta that Osama guy, sorry Saddam guy. Ah really let him have it. 8216;8216;A regime that has lost its legit8217;mcy will also lose its power8217;8217;, ah said at the NU podum. Could hear lots of clappin8217;. Impressive, dontcha think? Gotta confess though, ah had to ask Rumsfeld for the meanin8217; of legit8217;mcy. He said, 8216;Mr President, it means being lawful.8217; Ah gottit 8212; us folks are always lawful cos we set the law for all the folks in the world, and Osama, sorry Saddam, out there had betta get the message or ah8217;ll bomb him back to the rock age.
Ah was askin8217; Rumsfeld which countries in the world are supportin8217; us on Iraq. He kinda8217; rubbed his chin and says, 8216;8216;Well, UK, definitely, Israel certainly; possibly Italy because that Berlusconi is a good guy, great mafia connections, and Burkino Faso, perhaps, because we gave them enough cassava to feed the people there for two years.8217;8217; Cut the bull, ah said. Tony Blair, ah know, loves us. That8217;s why I8217;m plannin8217; to call Laura8217;s new spaniel 8216;Tony8217;. He deserves that honour. Great guy. But that Berlony and Burkina business, you be meanin8217; to say that there are no others in this dem world supportin8217; us in our mission to save the planet? What 8217;bout all those green nuts who want to save the planet by cuttin8217; down on bluehouse gases, an8217; all, and are always afta me for ma support to the oil lobby?
Then ah told Rumsfeld to write to that fella, Jang Ze-somethin8217;, in Tokyo, that German guy, Schroeder blah, in Paris, and that General Musha in New Delhi to join up in our plan to save the world from Osama, sorry Saddam. Rumsfeld nodded and left. Ah I hope he doesn8217;t muck it up. Don8217;t know how Dad managed it, wagin8217; that war against Osama, in Operatin Desert Storm, an8217; all. Mom says he was brilliant then, a pillar of leadership an8217; all. She doesn8217;t think ah8217;m up to it though and always has a worried look when she sets eyes on me. Fact is, that8217;s one more reason why ah wanna bomb Osama, sorry Saddam. To tell Mom ah love her and ah8217;m a smart kid and that ah8217;m no wimp. No sir. Ah8217;m very commitated to bombing Osama, sorry Saddam. Yes sir. It8217;s kinda good for the family brand name, if ya know what ah mean: Bushes love bombs.
But Mom reminded me 8217;bout the food packets, 8216;8216;Don8217;t forget the packets of beans in tomato sauce, George,8217;8217; she said, 8216;8216;it8217;s good for your ratings.8217;8217; Mom8217;s the sharpest in the family, really. Must remind Tommy Franks to drop the humanity food packets after the bombin8217; 8212; in any case, there8217;s loads left over from Afghanistan. Us Americans, we may have large bombs but we have large hearts, too. Yes sir.
It8217;s kinda easy to work this out. You are either with us or 8217;gainst us. If you are with us you get the beans in tomato sauce, if you8217;re 8217;gainst us you get to Guautanamo Bay. So tell me, are ya ready to be counted? Are you a Whack Iraq-er or are you not one?
